New Song---the river

Post recordings you have made here and get feedback from the community. Songwriting topics would also reside here.

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juineaux
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New Song---the river

Unread post by juineaux » Sat Dec 13, 2003 8:25 pm

Heres a new solo song of mine-
Tell me what you think :D

http://www.angelfire.com/moon/mr_zen/

(hopefully angelfire will hold up)

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Xoosh
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Unread post by Xoosh » Sat Dec 13, 2003 8:49 pm

watch the rhythm @ :12

your voice comes in beautifully. The guitar work is fantasticly solid. holy shit. what a great song. only critique is how far apart the vocal sections are. it'd work if the guitar part changed more, but it's pretty much the same over and over again.. while beautiful, it doesnt lend well to sparce, hard to understand vocals.

the chane at 1:57 is kinda awkward but you get right back into it a few seconds later, the singing and switch at 2:11 seems awkward for you... the "never nevre ... this way" sounds like you were struggling... but overall it's not that bad.

i like the 1st or 2nd string solo you're doing at like 2:15 - 2:40 and on... it soudns really really nice and adds a nice little change. I'd like to hear more bass notes in there... maybe they are and the recording doesnt do it justice though... 3:30 - 3:50 i think your hands got lost...

really great song. i wish i could understand the lyrics a little better, but i absolutely adore your voice.

/x
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juineaux
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Unread post by juineaux » Sat Dec 13, 2003 8:55 pm

thanks, I think that the vocals are kinda spread out too, but I really like playing this guitar line, so I cant do much else to fit the vocals in their better.
thanks again for the review

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fatjack
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Unread post by fatjack » Sun Dec 14, 2003 12:12 am

rockin as always tom, good job. that riff was really cool

the only problem i have with the song was that it was kind of repetitive as a whole, the riff was awesome, but a little change from the signature riff of the song might make it less monotonous. but this is only minor and does little to detract from the coolness of the song
I'm Josh: sometimes known as Steve

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juineaux
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Unread post by juineaux » Sun Dec 14, 2003 12:18 am

thanks man

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Unread post by fatjack » Sun Dec 14, 2003 12:20 am

juineaux wrote:thanks man
you bet, you didn't happen to check out my new stuff did you?

http://www.northridgesoccer.com/josh

:D
I'm Josh: sometimes known as Steve

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juineaux
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Unread post by juineaux » Sun Dec 14, 2003 12:23 am

no I didnt know about your website, which song do you suggest I listen to?

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Unread post by fatjack » Sun Dec 14, 2003 12:29 am

juineaux wrote:no I didnt know about your website, which song do you suggest I listen to?
you may have heard most of them already. everyone seems to like something wrong and my favorite is DI reprise

but you can listen to em all if you want :D
I'm Josh: sometimes known as Steve

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juineaux
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Unread post by juineaux » Sun Dec 14, 2003 12:58 am

i listened to DI reprise and i really like it. I think the bongos or djembe really add alot to the song. It sounds like a cool happy song!

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DustyDave
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Unread post by DustyDave » Sun Dec 14, 2003 2:49 pm

Great stuff Juineaux , might be the one i like the best from you :)
-Ole

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juineaux
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Unread post by juineaux » Sun Dec 14, 2003 3:40 pm

thanks, Its definately one of my favorites to play live

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Unread post by MWR » Sun Dec 14, 2003 5:50 pm

That was truly fantastic. You singing/songwriting/playing always blows me away with it's maturity. You sound like an old pro.
I would like to hear a more aggressive version where you really get those low notes booming esp. when the verse riff comes back in. This could have been a recording issue though.
The vocals were awesome but you might try holding the notes longer at the end of each phrase to create variation. I would articulate just to the point where we can understand the words but you should def. retain that "slur" cause it's wonderfully unique.
I really, really liked this one.

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juineaux
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Unread post by juineaux » Sun Dec 14, 2003 6:09 pm

thanks, im gonna try holding out my vocals aat the end of the phrase(i think that would be easier than adding more lyrics), I think the low notes were kinda ignored by the recording, because the vocals and guitar were recorded at the same time and I used my friends guitar instead of my own. It has a nice slide sound on some of my other songs, but I wish i wouldve just used my own guitar for this.

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Unread post by ticohans » Thu Dec 18, 2003 12:32 am

absolutely sick, tom :)

i have a friend here at davidson who is a pretty good mando player and this is exactly the kind of stuff he loves. you two would be fantastic together

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juineaux
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Unread post by juineaux » Thu Dec 18, 2003 9:51 am

thats cool, I really want to find someone to jam with(and mando's are awesome). I havent seen you in a while Tico, whats up?

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