Check out my s#!t?

afurth · Unread post by **afurth** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 2:37 pm

alright... i actually wasted 10 minutes of my life reading this entire thread.

first of all... dude... your grammar sucks balls, but whatever... this isn't an "english board"

second of all, the lyrics are just too muddled. at times they're too literal (you want to leave the listener thinking about what you said, not imagining you ripping a gravity bong and sitting there like a corpse) and at other times they don't really follow a theme.

here's the thing - if you're going to do solo acoustic, you've gotta have some damn solid lyrics - because you only have two instruments - your guitar and your vox.

now for the good - the guitar had some promise - it was a cool rhythmic idea - i liked it very much - definately very dave-influenced, but i'm not sure you're looking to "blaze your own trail" in the world of music, so i think that's ok.

ALSO - you are lucky to have people be this critical of your stuff. this way, you have mad stuff to work on. not to sound like an ass, but sometimes when i post stuff, people like to say "i love it man" and, while i really appreciate their sentiments, that doesn't help me grow/develop as an artist. so i suggest that you develop some tough skin and take all kinds of criticism for what it is - constructive suggestions.

so anyways, keep working and posting your shit here... its always good to see people mature and develop through criticism. personally, i have a lot of industry experience (even though i'm only 20) so I know how it is... but its fun so keep at it.

Sciaracastro · Unread post by **Sciaracastro** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 3:01 pm

i wrote better stuff when i was 16...and i dont think i was any good :lol:

iha · Unread post by **iha** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 3:46 pm

after reading this thread i had to DL it :lol:

mbent4679 · Unread post by **mbent4679** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 7:44 pm

I do appreciate the lengthy comment you left I'm surprized people are still lookin at this. this was the first song I wrote back in the day. Sadly most people like the straight foward lyrics. I have other songs I write that are deeper and show more truth about me but I don't live around anybody who's willing to take the time to decipher my lyrics. Plz look out for more of y stuff and tell me what you guys think. As soon as I get the time I wanna add a third track hopefully add some bongo's if I can afford it. sorry for wasting your guyz time.

AlpineValley · Unread post by **AlpineValley** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 7:59 pm

Kahn wrote:sick lyrics brah, I real lee feal the payn of you're addiction. I meen, when I start jonesin' for a rolled up bone I just want to right some fucking poetry ryt brah?

iha · Unread post by **iha** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:38 pm

when you say most people like the straight forward lyrics, are you just talking about your friends? because more than likely they're not going to be to critical of this song.. especially if it was when you were 15.

dmbguitar718 · Unread post by **dmbguitar718** » Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:58 pm

mbent4679 wrote:I do appreciate the lengthy comment you left I'm surprized people are still lookin at this. this was the first song I wrote back in the day. Sadly most people like the straight foward lyrics. I have other songs I write that are deeper and show more truth about me but I don't live around anybody who's willing to take the time to decipher my lyrics. Plz look out for more of y stuff and tell me what you guys think. As soon as I get the time I wanna add a third track hopefully add some bongo's if I can afford it. sorry for wasting your guyz time.

Take a fucking English course. You're grammar is so poor that I literally ache for you.

Sorry, but Jesus man.

Gold · Unread post by **Gold** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 12:30 am

chillax guyz.

mbent4679 · Unread post by **mbent4679** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 11:15 am

Seems like you need a clonopin. Anal retentive, Yea I think that describes you.

checkii · Unread post by **checkii** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 11:50 am

can you change thread title to maybe "Check out my shirt?"?

hofdaddy · Unread post by **hofdaddy** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 12:59 pm

check out my sheet (music)?

ut4ever8 · Unread post by **ut4ever8** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 2:19 pm

mangold wrote:if people had been friendly to me when i posted my first recordings, i wouldnt be where i am today

i suggest you post your first gravedigger and your in the end cover for motivational purposes

sunglassesatnight · Unread post by **sunglassesatnight** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 3:02 pm

ACOUSTIPLOSION!!!!!!!!!!!

mangold · Unread post by **mangold** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 4:13 pm

ut4ever8 wrote:
mangold wrote:if people had been friendly to me when i posted my first recordings, i wouldnt be where i am today
i suggest you post your first gravedigger and your in the end cover for motivational purposes

i got way worse shit than that. you can also read that thread and see how to not respond to criticism. i been through it man which is why im trying to help you out. i took criticism way worse than you but when i learned to listen and stopped being a dick, i got a hell of alot more from these boards.

and my in the end cover is good. its gravedigger, acoustiplosion, the stone, ants marching, and curbside prophet that suck. do your homework

afurth · Unread post by **afurth** » Thu Jan 11, 2007 4:26 pm

mangold wrote:
ut4ever8 wrote:
mangold wrote:if people had been friendly to me when i posted my first recordings, i wouldnt be where i am today
i suggest you post your first gravedigger and your in the end cover for motivational purposes
i got way worse shit than that. you can also read that thread and see how to not respond to criticism. i been through it man which is why im trying to help you out. i took criticism way worse than you but when i learned to listen and stopped being a dick, i got a hell of alot more from these boards.

and my in the end cover is good. its gravedigger, acoustiplosion, the stone, ants marching, and curbside prophet that suck. do your homework

ya dude, you've come a long way, as have a few others on this site (myself included). its nice to get feedback, you know? and its better to get negative feedback (though not on your ego haha)

DMBTabs.com

Check out my s#!t?

Who is online