"Unforgivable" Another Original

[EnFuego]

I was listening to this again today, and realized that the guitar style kind of reminds me of barricades of heaven.

[globex]

3. incredible lyrics, that is all. no awkward word choice or structure

I like the song, but I don't agree with that. The first and second verses have parts where it seems like you're struggling to get out all the syllables of the lyrics out in time.

The music is great, but I felt that the lyrics were a bit weak. Quality recording is good. Just need to get the overall volume up a tad, but that's really hard to do without some remastering software (I still don't know how to do it)

[Appfro]

well i've come to figure that i just can't win w/ lyrics. so i really don't hold a grain of salt to anyone's critiques about them anymore. no one can tell me why they hate my lyrics, people just say they don't like them or they're weak or cheesy, but no one tells me why, so i can't fix it. therefore, i just don't care what people have to say about lyrics anymore

but i appreciate all of the comments about the music and i'm glad you guys liked it. enfuego, it's all based around Em, C, D w/ the e and b strings held at three similar to barricades which is em, c, d, g, w/ a different lick. i wasn't inspired by the song cause i didn't hear it for the first time until about 3 months ago, but i freaking love that song

[tjmac66pc]

i like the song man.. nicejob! nicely written

[EnFuego]

well i've come to figure that i just can't win w/ lyrics. so i really don't hold a grain of salt to anyone's critiques about them anymore. no one can tell me why they hate my lyrics, people just say they don't like them or they're weak or cheesy, but no one tells me why, so i can't fix it. therefore, i just don't care what people have to say about lyrics anymore

but i appreciate all of the comments about the music and i'm glad you guys liked it. enfuego, it's all based around Em, C, D w/ the e and b strings held at three similar to barricades which is em, c, d, g, w/ a different lick. i wasn't inspired by the song cause i didn't hear it for the first time until about 3 months ago, but i freaking love that song

I think thats the attitude you've got to have about personal stuff like lyrics, and music in general.

[TimmyJ4140]

Hey Mitchster, fantastic job, I'm a huge fan of simplicity in terms of writing music, and this is perfect. The way the melody fits with the chord progression, it's really good. About the actual recording quality, I'd throw an EQ on your voice, add just a little bass, and then just a touch of reverb, it'd fill out the sound a bit more, make your voice sound a bit stronger. Other than that, fantastic job bro.

[ut4ever8]

i liked it, i thought it started off a little boring but i thought it was pretty solid overall nice work

[lyrics101]

well i've come to figure that i just can't win w/ lyrics. so i really don't hold a grain of salt to anyone's critiques about them anymore. no one can tell me why they hate my lyrics, people just say they don't like them or they're weak or cheesy, but no one tells me why, so i can't fix it. therefore, i just don't care what people have to say about lyrics anymore

but i appreciate all of the comments about the music and i'm glad you guys liked it. enfuego, it's all based around Em, C, D w/ the e and b strings held at three similar to barricades which is em, c, d, g, w/ a different lick. i wasn't inspired by the song cause i didn't hear it for the first time until about 3 months ago, but i freaking love that song

I think thats the attitude you've got to have about personal stuff like lyrics, and music in general.

You'll never improve with an attitude like that, though.

[Appfro]

well i've come to figure that i just can't win w/ lyrics. so i really don't hold a grain of salt to anyone's critiques about them anymore. no one can tell me why they hate my lyrics, people just say they don't like them or they're weak or cheesy, but no one tells me why, so i can't fix it. therefore, i just don't care what people have to say about lyrics anymore

but i appreciate all of the comments about the music and i'm glad you guys liked it. enfuego, it's all based around Em, C, D w/ the e and b strings held at three similar to barricades which is em, c, d, g, w/ a different lick. i wasn't inspired by the song cause i didn't hear it for the first time until about 3 months ago, but i freaking love that song

I think thats the attitude you've got to have about personal stuff like lyrics, and music in general.

You'll never improve with an attitude like that, though.

but i'll never improve w/ people just telling me my lyrics are cheesy or corny. if you can't give constructive criticism then i don't see the point in criticising...cuase then you're just telling them it's no good and unable to be fixed. if someone told me my llyrics sucked and said, here's what you could do or think about to improve them, then i would take that info w/ everything it's worth and really try to impliment the changes accordingly. but if you say, your lyrics are cheesy, then there's nothing i can do about that and you're an ass for saying it cause you have nothing to back it up.

just my opinion, and i'm not callin gyou an ass, you've always had good tips for me, i'm speaking in generalities.

[Grasso]

Bro....sick. Sick.

[myxomatosis]

well i've come to figure that i just can't win w/ lyrics. so i really don't hold a grain of salt to anyone's critiques about them anymore. no one can tell me why they hate my lyrics, people just say they don't like them or they're weak or cheesy, but no one tells me why, so i can't fix it. therefore, i just don't care what people have to say about lyrics anymore

but i appreciate all of the comments about the music and i'm glad you guys liked it. enfuego, it's all based around Em, C, D w/ the e and b strings held at three similar to barricades which is em, c, d, g, w/ a different lick. i wasn't inspired by the song cause i didn't hear it for the first time until about 3 months ago, but i freaking love that song

I think thats the attitude you've got to have about personal stuff like lyrics, and music in general.

You'll never improve with an attitude like that, though.

but i'll never improve w/ people just telling me my lyrics are cheesy or corny. if you can't give constructive criticism then i don't see the point in criticising...cuase then you're just telling them it's no good and unable to be fixed. if someone told me my llyrics sucked and said, here's what you could do or think about to improve them, then i would take that info w/ everything it's worth and really try to impliment the changes accordingly. but if you say, your lyrics are cheesy, then there's nothing i can do about that and you're an ass for saying it cause you have nothing to back it up.

just my opinion, and i'm not callin gyou an ass, you've always had good tips for me, i'm speaking in generalities.

You should be thankful that people listen to your songs and tell you what they think. That's how this forum works... you post your recording, and people tell you what they think. People don't have to justify their answers or tell you ways to make it better. If you want to ignore people's opinions, fine... If you want to consider their opinions and try to write more original lyrics, even better... Either way its up to you... But to say that someone shouldn't post unless they are ready to defend their opinions and/or tell you how to make it better is just stupid.

[Appfro]

well i've come to figure that i just can't win w/ lyrics. so i really don't hold a grain of salt to anyone's critiques about them anymore. no one can tell me why they hate my lyrics, people just say they don't like them or they're weak or cheesy, but no one tells me why, so i can't fix it. therefore, i just don't care what people have to say about lyrics anymore

but i appreciate all of the comments about the music and i'm glad you guys liked it. enfuego, it's all based around Em, C, D w/ the e and b strings held at three similar to barricades which is em, c, d, g, w/ a different lick. i wasn't inspired by the song cause i didn't hear it for the first time until about 3 months ago, but i freaking love that song

I think thats the attitude you've got to have about personal stuff like lyrics, and music in general.

You'll never improve with an attitude like that, though.

but i'll never improve w/ people just telling me my lyrics are cheesy or corny. if you can't give constructive criticism then i don't see the point in criticising...cuase then you're just telling them it's no good and unable to be fixed. if someone told me my llyrics sucked and said, here's what you could do or think about to improve them, then i would take that info w/ everything it's worth and really try to impliment the changes accordingly. but if you say, your lyrics are cheesy, then there's nothing i can do about that and you're an ass for saying it cause you have nothing to back it up.

just my opinion, and i'm not callin gyou an ass, you've always had good tips for me, i'm speaking in generalities.

You should be thankful that people listen to your songs and tell you what they think. That's how this forum works... you post your recording, and people tell you what they think. People don't have to justify their answers or tell you ways to make it better. If you want to ignore people's opinions, fine... If you want to consider their opinions and try to write more original lyrics, even better... Either way its up to you... But to say that someone shouldn't post unless they are ready to defend their opinions and/or tell you how to make it better is just stupid.

i don't know why you're all up in arms over this...he said i wouldn't get anywhere if i didn't listen to people's opinions, but saying someone's lyrics suck isn't give them a chance to grow/change. i rarely, very rarely give someone a critique w/o teling them what i think they should do to fix it or what they could do to do better. my point was that if you come in and say, i don't like this song very much, that's a pretty pointless critique, but i can handle it. and if someone says, your lyrics suck, that's a pointless critique and i can handle it. and i feel like someone is really just trying to tell you that you suck and really has no creative input on how you can make it better. it's like saying, you suck, i can't do better, but you suck too.

You should be thankful that people listen to your songs and tell you what they think.

and what was that about? i take a lot of time listening to people's songs on this forum from beginning to finish and i give good CONSTRUCTIVE criticism so even if i was the worst musician on these boards, i would hope someone would extend me the common courtesy of listening to my song.

let me just say, i'm not mad at anyone, and i'm not trying to be an ass. i was merely stating that i think giving someone a negative critique w/ no constructive criticism isn't helping anyone and actually only brings down the spirit of the person who poured their heart and soul into the song in the beginning. that's all i was trying to say, i wasn't trying to come off as an ass.

[TimmyJ4140]

I support the above post.

We love you Mitch.

[myxomatosis]

well i've come to figure that i just can't win w/ lyrics. so i really don't hold a grain of salt to anyone's critiques about them anymore. no one can tell me why they hate my lyrics, people just say they don't like them or they're weak or cheesy, but no one tells me why, so i can't fix it. therefore, i just don't care what people have to say about lyrics anymore

but i appreciate all of the comments about the music and i'm glad you guys liked it. enfuego, it's all based around Em, C, D w/ the e and b strings held at three similar to barricades which is em, c, d, g, w/ a different lick. i wasn't inspired by the song cause i didn't hear it for the first time until about 3 months ago, but i freaking love that song

I think thats the attitude you've got to have about personal stuff like lyrics, and music in general.

You'll never improve with an attitude like that, though.

but i'll never improve w/ people just telling me my lyrics are cheesy or corny. if you can't give constructive criticism then i don't see the point in criticising...cuase then you're just telling them it's no good and unable to be fixed. if someone told me my llyrics sucked and said, here's what you could do or think about to improve them, then i would take that info w/ everything it's worth and really try to impliment the changes accordingly. but if you say, your lyrics are cheesy, then there's nothing i can do about that and you're an ass for saying it cause you have nothing to back it up.

just my opinion, and i'm not callin gyou an ass, you've always had good tips for me, i'm speaking in generalities.

You should be thankful that people listen to your songs and tell you what they think. That's how this forum works... you post your recording, and people tell you what they think. People don't have to justify their answers or tell you ways to make it better. If you want to ignore people's opinions, fine... If you want to consider their opinions and try to write more original lyrics, even better... Either way its up to you... But to say that someone shouldn't post unless they are ready to defend their opinions and/or tell you how to make it better is just stupid.

i don't know why you're all up in arms over this...he said i wouldn't get anywhere if i didn't listen to people's opinions, but saying someone's lyrics suck isn't give them a chance to grow/change. i rarely, very rarely give someone a critique w/o teling them what i think they should do to fix it or what they could do to do better. my point was that if you come in and say, i don't like this song very much, that's a pretty pointless critique, but i can handle it. and if someone says, your lyrics suck, that's a pointless critique and i can handle it. and i feel like someone is really just trying to tell you that you suck and really has no creative input on how you can make it better. it's like saying, you suck, i can't do better, but you suck too.

You should be thankful that people listen to your songs and tell you what they think.

and what was that about? i take a lot of time listening to people's songs on this forum from beginning to finish and i give good CONSTRUCTIVE criticism so even if i was the worst musician on these boards, i would hope someone would extend me the common courtesy of listening to my song.

let me just say, i'm not mad at anyone, and i'm not trying to be an ass. i was merely stating that i think giving someone a negative critique w/ no constructive criticism isn't helping anyone and actually only brings down the spirit of the person who poured their heart and soul into the song in the beginning. that's all i was trying to say, i wasn't trying to come off as an ass.

I disagree... If someone says your lyrics are corny or cliche, you can reevaluate the lyrics yourself, and then change them if you want. That's how it's constructive... You get people's honest opinions on songs you write... is that not what you want?

[Pizzle]

If more than 10 people said the lyrics were corny, then I would consider reevaluating them. However, if it's only a person or 2, then it doesn't matter because not everyone is going to like a song. Not everyone is creative enough to come up with original lyrics, cliched or not. Constructive criticism would be something like "you should rearrange the verses", "try changing this word to this" or "change the sentence structure here to make it flow better.", etc....