Howdy folks, this is an origional of mine i've been working on for a few weeks. I have a Light Lift me Interpolation in the outro.
Now I don't claim to be a good singer by any means, I'm really just looking for critque, areas where i can improve, and how i go about improving in those areas.
Thanks in adance to everyone listening and critiquing.
Edit: I failed to mention before hand it was done in one take, Guitar and Vocals, on a sub-par mic. You'll hear a faint hum, which is my fan.. I again appreciate any and all input.
http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?a ... DD13D520C5
Karma - New Origional
Karma - New Origional
Last edited by Alazais on Sun Aug 27, 2006 11:47 am, edited 2 times in total.
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HumbleMonkey
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you have some things to work on.
first of all your rhythm. it's bouncy and jumps throughout the entire song, especially the intro. you should work on making it more natural and keeping your strumming hand moving in a rhythmic pattern.
your vocals need work too. you sway between talking and singing, but when you do sing it's out of key. i would work on maybe recording the guitar piece and then singing over it for practice.
the lyrics seemed to be pretty good from what i heard. to be honest, i didn't listen to the whole thing. the other critiques i have kind of mask your lyrical ability because you seem to be decent in your writing but it's hard to get past the song to hear the lyrics...hope that makes sense. the only lyrical critique i have is that it seems you're putting a lot of words into each line, and some people like to write that way, it works fine for some so it's not even a critique as long as you can pull it off.
i think the song needs a lot of polishing. it does have potential but it's very rough around the edges. none of this post is intended to be an insult, i hope that i at least offered some suggestions that will help you in the long run.
first of all your rhythm. it's bouncy and jumps throughout the entire song, especially the intro. you should work on making it more natural and keeping your strumming hand moving in a rhythmic pattern.
your vocals need work too. you sway between talking and singing, but when you do sing it's out of key. i would work on maybe recording the guitar piece and then singing over it for practice.
the lyrics seemed to be pretty good from what i heard. to be honest, i didn't listen to the whole thing. the other critiques i have kind of mask your lyrical ability because you seem to be decent in your writing but it's hard to get past the song to hear the lyrics...hope that makes sense. the only lyrical critique i have is that it seems you're putting a lot of words into each line, and some people like to write that way, it works fine for some so it's not even a critique as long as you can pull it off.
i think the song needs a lot of polishing. it does have potential but it's very rough around the edges. none of this post is intended to be an insult, i hope that i at least offered some suggestions that will help you in the long run.
Last edited by Appfro on Sun Aug 27, 2006 12:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
The recording quality leaves something to be desired, but im not going to critique that.
Ok the first thing that i notice is your vocals are very pitchy. It sounds like you're trying to sing like Dave but can't pull it off, just be yourself man.
The guitar is played too choppily imo, i would critique your mixing because it sounds like the trebble is way too high, but if you played it on just one mic that just means you're playing a taylor
I also think the lyrics are very weak, im very picky with lyrics and yours sound like they are trying to be artful and have a deeper meaning, but they just sound corny to be honest.
The ways i would suggest you can improve would be practice your singing and dont try to sing like anyone else, just be yourself. (and annunciate more) I'm not going to lie to you, you've got alot of work to do before i would go play any open mics, but as long as you've got the drive thats all you need.
Keep at it man.
Ok the first thing that i notice is your vocals are very pitchy. It sounds like you're trying to sing like Dave but can't pull it off, just be yourself man.
The guitar is played too choppily imo, i would critique your mixing because it sounds like the trebble is way too high, but if you played it on just one mic that just means you're playing a taylor
I also think the lyrics are very weak, im very picky with lyrics and yours sound like they are trying to be artful and have a deeper meaning, but they just sound corny to be honest.
The ways i would suggest you can improve would be practice your singing and dont try to sing like anyone else, just be yourself. (and annunciate more) I'm not going to lie to you, you've got alot of work to do before i would go play any open mics, but as long as you've got the drive thats all you need.
Keep at it man.
~Andy (The artist formerly known as praisedave)
http://www.andymangold.com
http://www.andymangold.com
are you playing a taylor?Alazais wrote:nope, no insult taken. Thanks alot, Appreciate all input. I know i've got a long way to go. Always looking for help on improving. This will at least start me in the right direction.
Thanks again.
~Andy (The artist formerly known as praisedave)
http://www.andymangold.com
http://www.andymangold.com
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