new original

[Swede]

this is kinda new.. i posted this before and i listen to all what u guys had to say and changed it. ( i dont remember all but most of it , i think)

my original:

Dream

http://s13.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1J0K ... FCRVXYSG52

EDIT lyrics:

Now when the world is full of war and people dont have dreams, world war 3 is knocking on my door in a land who wants to be free.

Now tell me this is a nightmare and the people are free, children are playing and laughing, havin fun on the streets, cuz i dont wanna live in a land full of war and misery, so wake me up of this dream and tell me hey you are free..

sixty years have gone since world war 2, what have we learned about this me and you?
we still hate each other, insted of being my brother
so take my hand and walk with me together we be free.

cuz i dont wanna live in a land full of war and misery
so take my hand and walk with me together we be free.

[Appfro]

i'm listening but you should post the lyrics

[Appfro]

ok still can't hear the lyrics all that well. you did a good job, but i read over the old critiques and i have to say they're right, it should have more parts to it. at least a chorus to change things up a bit. if you ever get stumped in how to change a song, try changing the key or the time signature in the middle. if it doesn't work, it at least gives you some good ideas on stuff to add to it.

[Swede]

i added the lyrics.. yeah i thought about that.. not sure what to do!

[Swede]

no one??