First Attempt at lyrics

Jakis · Unread post by **Jakis** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 7:19 pm

Ive been trying to write some lyrics for the first time tonight..
and this is what ive got so far..
can u guys tell me if they are any good or im on the write track?
thanks

I was just strumming a chord thinking about my time,
I was just waiting for the years to pass by,
all i ever wanted to do was put a smile on your face,
but what i always did was wish to fit in.

life's just a fight with time,
and time is the one that wins,
i wish to work with the hours,
so that i may enjoy my days.

cheers,

Jake

lyrics101 · Unread post by **lyrics101** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 9:19 am

*yawn*

a1075dd63aa12 · Unread post by **a1075dd63aa12** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 12:09 pm

lyrics101 wrote:*yawn*

at least give him some constructive criticism

a1075dd63aa12 · Unread post by **a1075dd63aa12** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 12:10 pm

i think the lyrics could be better with some work. you dont really stick to a certain idea or theme, it seems kind of like a bunch of phrases put together.

lyrics101 · Unread post by **lyrics101** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 6:25 pm

wkpggrvn2001 wrote:
lyrics101 wrote:*yawn*
at least give him some constructive criticism

I recieve none and so I offer none.

jsgksu · Unread post by **jsgksu** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 6:26 pm

lyrics101 wrote:
wkpggrvn2001 wrote:
lyrics101 wrote:*yawn*
at least give him some constructive criticism
I recieve none and so I offer none.

sounds like a vicious cycle, try breaking out of it man

DMBTabs.com

First Attempt at lyrics

First Attempt at lyrics

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