My Originals

dmbsaxboyz · Unread post by **dmbsaxboyz** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:01 am

Hey all. I just got a website up and running with some of my stuff on it. Go have a listen and enjoy!

http://www.coryallenstaats.com

Tranman66 · Unread post by **Tranman66** » Sat Mar 12, 2005 9:39 am

hey man. This is verrry good man. I listened to one of your originals and i like very much. Great voice. Good melody. Steady and good flow. Awesome

DMBtabs.com, welcome to it.

dmbsaxboyz · Unread post by **dmbsaxboyz** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 12:22 am

thanx a lot for listening!

glad u liked it.

this is the first time I've put up songs for people to listen to, so I've been kinda nervous and excited to hear feedback

fatjack · Unread post by **fatjack** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 12:40 am

i listened to all the songs, so i will give you a general opinion on them as a whole.

your voice is about 80% on. certain parts of the legato passages in your melodies crop flat, and when your melodies have a faster rhythm, you tend to fall a little flat. This problem is barely noticeable though, but for some reason it stood out to me. The problem seemed to be with your breathing: work on taking larger breaths and getting more sustain out of each note.

The guitar playing was solid, not a lot to complain about there. Rhythm was good and you kept a steady tempo.

As for your songwriting, you could use a bit of work there. Your melodies WERE good, but they (and the compositions in general) didn't vary much from song to song. The guitar parts aren't necessarily creative and just sound like something I've heard a thousand times before.

Also, a few songs were a tad lengthy. I think one song was about 6:30 minutes long, thats REALLY pushing peoples patience (especially considering that it was a rather slow song).

The picture on the page is pretty cool too

dmbsaxboyz · Unread post by **dmbsaxboyz** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 4:58 am

cool. Yah that's something I've been working on for a while. it's hard for me to sing into the mic, can't get the same vigor and emotion going for some reason that I have playing live. yah it stands out to me too

, still very much to work on!

and for sweet dreams, the long one, haha u should have heard the 'original' song. my good friend cara wrote the lyrics to that one and believe me, it was epic! i had to paraphrase and rewrite most of it to get it down to where it is now.

as far as songwriting goes, whyimmissingyou/Iwill/sweetdreams aren't really that important to me. they were first out of the gate. imo melody in sweet dreams and i will are pretty uninteresting save for the chorus. but here is where u lose me

not to say that you are wrong at all, just that i don't understand. the compositions are all different forms, 3 are in the key of G so i'll give u that. they all have different 'feels' and one of the things i love about take off and heavenly when i was writing them, is the fact they don't sound like anything I've heard. I'll be getting lot's of help tho with songwriting, this is my first semester as a songwriting major at Berklee. it's all about pop/rock/money hits tho but there's still a lot of good info.

thnx for your comments! i appreciate it a lot, and thnx for listening

fatjack · Unread post by **fatjack** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 9:30 am

dmbsaxboyz wrote:the compositions are all different forms, 3 are in the key of G so i'll give u that.

explain to me how they are different, because i certainly cant hear it. all the songs have a very simple structure. i understand that it is difficult to have a lot of variety with just one instrument and one voice, but i really felt like i was listening to the same song.

and its doesn't matter if ALL of them are in the same key. you could write numerous songs in the same key and still have all of them be very different.

borocks · Unread post by **borocks** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 2:00 pm

I've just listened to "I will". I thought it sounded good. I have to agree with fatjack in some respect though. The song is kind of the same all through it. It'll make it interesting if the chorus would stand out more distinctly or if you would build up a tention towards the end of the song. Just a little advice.
However, nicely done and awesome recording quality.

Teego Time · Unread post by **Teego Time** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 3:57 pm

Hey man that's great stuff. I like how you get such a crisp sound out of everything. I wish I had the equipment to do that!

dmbsaxboyz · Unread post by **dmbsaxboyz** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 4:44 pm

fatjack wrote:
dmbsaxboyz wrote:the compositions are all different forms, 3 are in the key of G so i'll give u that.
explain to me how they are different, because i certainly cant hear it. all the songs have a very simple structure. i understand that it is difficult to have a lot of variety with just one instrument and one voice, but i really felt like i was listening to the same song.

and its doesn't matter if ALL of them are in the same key. you could write numerous songs in the same key and still have all of them be very different.

i can show ya

Why I'm Missing You: (basically a cookie cutter pop tune i wrote for my gf our first semester of college since we go to school 9 hours from eachother)
verse
verse
chorus
verse
chorus
bridge
chorus
chorus

I Will: (slow pop/rock, im not really to sure what to catagorize it as tbh)
verse
transitional bridge (also commonly called a pre-chorus)
verse
transitional bridge
bridge
verse
transitional bridge

Sweet Dreams: (ballad)
verse
verse
chorus
verse
bridge
chorus (extended)
verse

Take Off: (pop/rock)
verse
verse
transitional bridge
chorus
verse
transitional bridge
chorus

Heavenly (folky/pop... even more cookie cutter than the first one. this is the only song that I wrote all at once, it just came out easy. it's also my favorite one ;p)
verse
chorus
verse
chorus
bridge
chorus
verse (well.. 1/2 a verse)

as to the keys being the same, a lot of producers want to see an album of all different keys. they haven't really given me a good reason yet, but that's what they say

dmbsaxboyz · Unread post by **dmbsaxboyz** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 4:48 pm

borocks wrote:I've just listened to "I will". I thought it sounded good. I have to agree with fatjack in some respect though. The song is kind of the same all through it. It'll make it interesting if the chorus would stand out more distinctly or if you would build up a tention towards the end of the song. Just a little advice.
However, nicely done and awesome recording quality.

yah i agree... i may go back and re-do much of that song sometime, but atm I'm more focused on writing new stuff!

tyvm for having a listen! and thanx for your comments!

fatjack · Unread post by **fatjack** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 4:50 pm

dmbsaxboyz wrote:
fatjack wrote:
dmbsaxboyz wrote:the compositions are all different forms, 3 are in the key of G so i'll give u that.
explain to me how they are different, because i certainly cant hear it. all the songs have a very simple structure. i understand that it is difficult to have a lot of variety with just one instrument and one voice, but i really felt like i was listening to the same song.

and its doesn't matter if ALL of them are in the same key. you could write numerous songs in the same key and still have all of them be very different.
i can show ya

Why I'm Missing You: (basically a cookie cutter pop tune i wrote for my gf our first semester of college since we go to school 9 hours from eachother)
verse
verse
chorus
verse
chorus
bridge
chorus
chorus

I Will: (slow pop/rock, im not really to sure what to catagorize it as tbh)
verse
transitional bridge (also commonly called a pre-chorus)
verse
transitional bridge
bridge
verse
transitional bridge

Sweet Dreams: (ballad)
verse
verse
chorus
verse
bridge
chorus (extended)
verse

Take Off: (pop/rock)
verse
verse
transitional bridge
chorus
verse
transitional bridge
chorus

Heavenly (folky/pop... even more cookie cutter than the first one. this is the only song that I wrote all at once, it just came out easy. it's also my favorite one ;p)
verse
chorus
verse
chorus
bridge
chorus
verse (well.. 1/2 a verse)

as to the keys being the same, a lot of producers want to see an album of all different keys. they haven't really given me a good reason yet, but that's what they say

i wasn't talking about the way you organize the sections of the songs, i was referring to the harmonic structure (i.e. the progression). you just dont have anything special within the compositions

dmbsaxboyz · Unread post by **dmbsaxboyz** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 4:59 pm

Teego Time wrote:Hey man that's great stuff. I like how you get such a crisp sound out of everything. I wish I had the equipment to do that!

Thanks! I actually recorded and mixed it all in my appt with ProTools. all i have is an mbox, a cheepo large diaphram condensor i bought from a friend, and i either take the guitar direct in or i also have an SM58 i use sometimes to get more of a 'stereo' image. it's a lot of fun tho, and i usually lose sleep mixing stuff

I've recorded a couple of my friend's stuff too, i'm going to make a page for them and link it on my site. they are far better songwriters than i am imo. I tell yall when i put it up.

thanx again!

dmbsaxboyz · Unread post by **dmbsaxboyz** » Sun Mar 13, 2005 5:01 pm

fatjack wrote:i wasn't talking about the way you organize the sections of the songs, i was referring to the harmonic structure (i.e. the progression). you just dont have anything special within the compositions

lol ok i c.

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My Originals

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