originals please critique

[seanbryantkbq]

these are from my band devrette....

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/8/devrettemusic.htm



the firsts lyrics:

Sometimes as we grow
Everything we know feels smaller
Then all our eyes grow tired
With wisdom of a march end mile
Then death comes to our aid
To lead us to the grave we smile
But can you hear our children…

Leading on, remember today
Were still young
But not so that the
Orange of a pumpkin
That haunted childish dreams
Carry on to purple so were not so
Afraid

Wisdom of the old
Seen more than we know, lifetimes
New fawns of the spring
Go collect your things, golden eyes
Everyone’s obsessed
When little child blessed
And young
No one sees the old
Huddled up and cold they’re done
But wisdom’s what they carry on

Leading on, remember today
Were still young
But not so that the
Orange of a pumpkin
That haunted childish dreams
Carry on to purple so were not so…


Fond of this


the seconds lyrics ill post in a few, please critique

[hmm69]

i dig it the feel of it is very relaxed 1 thing whos singing the voice sounds i think a little to punk but all in all pretty sweet i would deffinately listen to it

[seanbryantkbq]

thanks

[seanbryantkbq]

anyone else? please listen.

[Beauford33]

I cnat listen to them for some reason

[seanbryantkbq]

please try as hard as u can. listen to quiets solo. it kicks ass

[You_Enjoy_Myself]

I just listened to Quiet, and would like to hear another verse in there, (because the vocals were pretty good) instead of the gratuitous minute-long solo. The solo was ok, but kinda sloppy sometimes, and the drums were kinda overpowering. It was a pretty good song though, I'll listen to some more songs later.

[seanbryantkbq]

thanks, anyone else?