Sands - (original)

Mulletman · Unread post by **Mulletman** » Fri Oct 29, 2004 1:04 pm

http://www.bauer.cx/sandsroughsketch.mp3

this is the first song i've ever written.i just started writing this a day or two ago so it's pretty rough. the high part needs some work and the second part is going to be changed a bit. let me know your thoughts.

lyrics are:

sand rains down
all over me
fills up my lungs
until i can't breathe

wears me down
wears me out

under all this, i plead

Appfro · Unread post by **Appfro** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 2:09 pm

dude, I'd love to hear it, but I'm not on a computer that can download it right now. so when my internet comes up, i promise to check it out. I just wanted to top this and say kudos for the way you wrote minnesowtah. i'm here w/ some northerners now and i make fun of the way they talk all of the time

GreyBlueAnt · Unread post by **GreyBlueAnt** » Sun Oct 31, 2004 3:28 pm

Not bad, for some reason it had kind of a Led Zepplin feel to me.

Mulletman · Unread post by **Mulletman** » Sun Oct 31, 2004 7:18 pm

i think i'm going to get a cello included on the intro and maybe outro. hopefully i'll be in the studio next week to record it. which should sound much better than one take on my computer mic.

Appfro · Unread post by **Appfro** » Mon Nov 01, 2004 8:56 am

the song sounds good, but i think you really need to work on the beat...it's off at times. but i like your voice, it's really good. and the song itself is pretty good too. So my only advice is to work on the rhythm.

dmbguitar718 · Unread post by **dmbguitar718** » Mon Nov 01, 2004 12:53 pm

First off, I disagree about the rythm. It may be off, but it adds character like that. You are playing at your own pace. I think it sounds wonderful.

Again, my favorite part is the "underr all thiiisss, i pleeeaaaddd". I love this. This would be the perfect time for the cello to come in, and remain for the rest of the song. Like you said earlier, you should probably and another verse or something. I think this is a very nice piece you have here.

Pat

gregplaysguitar · Unread post by **gregplaysguitar** » Tue Nov 02, 2004 2:45 am

I hear radio head when I hear this. Very cool. your voice is very light and airy (in a good way) and it gives this song an eerie sort of feel. Again, very cool.

-g-

HCHaikuWarrior · Unread post by **HCHaikuWarrior** » Sat Nov 06, 2004 10:29 pm

i think it's a beautiful little ditty.

lyrics are nice
guitar is nice
vocals are nice

good job man.

MWR · Unread post by **MWR** » Sun Nov 07, 2004 3:22 am

This is really good. Not much to critique. I'm hoping you'll post a polished version so I can throw it on my play-list.

DmbFanJason · Unread post by **DmbFanJason** » Sun Nov 07, 2004 4:07 am

im really diggin this...i too think of radiohead when listening. i dont know what to critique either to be honest.

foxymophandlemama · Unread post by **foxymophandlemama** » Tue Nov 09, 2004 5:29 pm

Hey, You have a really good voice, I liked the song alot.
Very nice vibe going, you should build on it more though, maybe another verse or something.
Overall it was really good, definetly one to keep

mangold · Unread post by **mangold** » Tue Nov 09, 2004 7:11 pm

great song, make better quality

Ryeguy · Unread post by **Ryeguy** » Tue Nov 09, 2004 9:18 pm

hey praise, how come your typing wierd all of a sudden.

filmdude100cms · Unread post by **filmdude100cms** » Tue Nov 09, 2004 9:25 pm

let me clear this up... it sounds good through the hiss, but let me see.

mangold · Unread post by **mangold** » Wed Nov 10, 2004 2:39 pm

Ryeguy wrote:hey praise, how come your typing wierd all of a sudden.

whaddaya mean? short and concise? i have less time now to post on this site, my lifes getting busier. i want to get to all the posts i want to and i dont want to leave anything out. i; try and be more complete in my thoughts.

DMBTabs.com

Sands - (original)

Sands - (original)

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