Balcony ( and new lyrics, wishing back, please critique!)

[seanbryantkbq]

ill post a full song once i can record and get it up on here, but until then, the lyrics ill give to u.
i wrote it for a friend in the last half hour, casue she always loves these guys, but then it never works out. (since ive known her, this has happened like four times) so i worte it to cheer her up, it about her struggle with love

Balcony

There you go again
With your hands in your hair
And sit on the balcony
Stare…

There’s nothing in the rain
To hide this, what you got
Well what you want
Is hard to come by

Well I beg all you do
To take me out and wrap
This balcony
Back to when I could get off
Cause this rain, damn, so cold
All I want, is to go inside

Yea well I’m alone right now
Gripping cold railings
But insides where this heat survives
And you, miss, can turn it on
And heat it all the same
Cause you’re just that way

Blue turn away
Stop all this rain
Hold on those railings
Leave this balcony

There’s nothing in the rain
To hide this, what you got
Well what you want
Is hard to come by

So what you think
That hurts too much
Get it off your mind
And you miss, can turn it on
And heat it all the same
Cause you’re just that way

So blue turn away
And pitter patter rain
Slide open your heart
And leave this balcony

Cause you know… yea
A good idea is go inside
And you know… yea
A good idea is go inside

Leave this balcony




tell me waht u think, i play it for her friday, so any help woutld be accepted, thanks!

PEACE!!!

[jsgksu]

pretty damn good, I liked it, let us know when you get a chance to record it

[onid41]

hey its pretty good man, she'll enjoy it

[Xoosh]

hey if you really want an honest opinion from a fellow poet... just let me know ... i dont think it serves much of a purpose to rip the lyrics apart when you're doing it to be sweet to someone... but if youd like a serious critique just let me know... i'llbearound.

/X

[seanbryantkbq]

xoosh, i want a serious critique, and while im at it, ill post a new song on here too.

so when i was in eight grade i met this most beautufl girl and fell in love with her, but she always got the wrong impression of me. so one day i asked her to a dance, and she said no. i am thanking her now, casue i realize that without her in my life, i would have never started writing songs, casue all my first songs are about her. and from time to time i write songs still about her. well anyways, freshman year (2 years ago) i was in a math quiz and i was thinking about her. i decided to write a song about how much i missed her, and this is waht came out of me during that 45 minute period. (by the way, i failed the math quiz)... its called wishing back

WISHING BACK

Do you remember we were walking?
Laying by the riverside
Melting cold ice in your mouth
In your mouth lay mine

Inside daisies, melted flowers
Under the cold blue sun we ran
Through the meadows chasing hours
That slipped through our hands

Wishing Back
To keep going forward we run
Hand in hand… here we go
Falling in
In between the lines of love
Wishing Back on you my love

If a year’s gone by we’re missing
Connections deep inside our eyes
Summer wishing for another
Another taste we could not find

What a place to be forgiven
The cathedrals of this hall
Yet I knew you would forsake me
And I would laugh out loud

Wishing Back
To keep going forward we run
Hand in hand… here we go
Falling in
In between the lines of love
Wishing Back on you my love

Remember I, played in the dreams you gave me
Remember I, danced to the dissonance
Remember I, run
I will run no more

One hand wishing for another
Another hand we could not find
One step lay before the other
Unto your playful eyes

Wishing Back
To keep going forward we run
Hand in hand… here we go
Falling in
In between the lines of love
Wishing Back on you my love