Hooked - Original

[HumbleMonkey]

new song i put together last night, its very different from everything else ive posted here. there is a little reprise at the end let me know what you think about this one


Hooked

http://download.yousendit.com/7798F9103BA88130


Oh light me up with that special stuff how its smells so sweet and tastes so good
Oh how I want to fly, fly so high
And how I don’t want to cry

Oh just give a little hit from what you got, What’s got my mind unraveling knots
Oh how I want to fly, fly so high
And how I don’t want to cry


And to you my friend you are so dear
I’d give my life a thousand times to have you near
Wont you please, please stop the pain
Just leave the needle in my vein



Oh give me a drop of what’s your in cup whatever you spill all lick it up
Oh how I want to fly, fly so high
And how I don’t want to cry


And to you my friend you are so dear
I’d give my life a thousand times to have you near
Wont you please, please stop the pain
Just leave the needle in my vein



And now you are done
Just pack up and run
You got your fix
Now you can rest
Now you are done
Now you are done

[AustinG]

Good job, I like the overall idea.

Ideas, the song doesn't really grab me with the monotone in the beginingg. Try playing it a key or two higher.. Also, that lil part at the end sounds like you should stick it in the middle for a bridge, maybe leading into a chorus..

You're voice isn't bad, I think it just needs to get stronger, I'm working on the same myself... I think it would sound stronger if you bring the guitar down a bit and sing into the mic more.. the guitar drowns it out to much...

The part-dear... and nearr.... sing them more, it sounds like your just saying it...

A little choppy but I'm sure it will get better..