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Davy28 · Unread post by **Davy28** » Sun Mar 14, 2004 8:24 pm

There was one time I was hearing him on the radio during an interview about Everyday and he talked about the penis size before sex of male bull elephants. He blabbered on about something called "GPS" or green penis syndrome in bull elephants and how right before sex their penises get as large as a sofa or something like that. It was totally hilarious. It only occured to me later that he must have been totally drunk or high.

hendrje · Unread post by **hendrje** » Mon Mar 15, 2004 12:31 am

I've got this Stanley Theater show and at the end of SMTS he tells this story about Marylin Manson and about how his microphone kept shocking him. So Manson said (Dave does his "best" Manson impression) "This place is a toilet. . .destroy!" I highly recommend finding that if you haven't heard it.

cpowell21 · Unread post by **cpowell21** » Mon Mar 15, 2004 10:21 pm

One of my favorites is from the 2003 DT tour where he talks about muting the cuss words in front of his girls. Its hilarious to here him mute the ( ) words.

Davy28 · Unread post by **Davy28** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 12:27 am

With the amount dave swears, thats more than necessary. Especially when drunk.

Snyder · Unread post by **Snyder** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 1:05 am

My favorite:

"Nudicles are fake balls ya see.
And if I could lick my balls, I'm pretty confident I could tell if they were nudicles or testicles.
I oughtta have some bison balls made and put 'em on my Chihuahua. He'd be like....WOOF WOOF
Was that that fucking Chihuahua? No fucking in way?"

just42night · Unread post by **just42night** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 2:41 am

I dont know if it has been said yet, but, my vote has to go to the first Dave Speak i dint even hear......at first. L@LC Jimi Thing, after the chiors before the jam @ 5:32, he wispers "Light your pipe". The first timeI heard thatI was a nonsmoker, and I was like, what a pothead, now Im like "yea dude, good idea"

mbgreen · Unread post by **mbgreen** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 3:58 am

Cave cricket story.

trippinDMBillies · Unread post by **trippinDMBillies** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 2:19 pm

There are so many funny stories it's hard to pick a favorite. i saw d&t at miami U last year, and he was hilarious: the elephant penis story was great, but other than that i think the 'Bob the horse' from 10-24-02 or the 'bonobo apes' from 2-06-99 are def a few of the funniest. If u haven't heard them, def get the shows.

NoNotThat · Unread post by **NoNotThat** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 3:46 pm

trippinDMBillies your av is HOTT

TurnItToLove · Unread post by **TurnItToLove** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 6:03 pm

---“Could I have been.. a beachfront property”...I'm gonna' do Dancing Nancies because uh....again cause' uh.....cause Fenton's dick's on this woman's hand...where'd she go.....where'd the woman with the penis on her hand go? There was a woman here with a penis on her hand........do you also have a penis on you......but also um.....she also has a penis on her hand. What the hell is with the penis' on everyone's hand?"

TurnItToLove · Unread post by **TurnItToLove** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 6:09 pm

----(Section of the crowd counts down the New Year early) "We have a pre- mature ejaculation over here on the right side of the stage, But I'm sure they still got a bone."

whip3512 · Unread post by **whip3512** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 7:58 pm

"yep dat rep dat rooow!" - end of Best of What's Around, Red Rocks

whip3512 · Unread post by **whip3512** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 8:13 pm

again, paraphrasing; 'I've got a bit a headache. I feel a little rough. I feel like I need to punch somebody in the face; anybody want to get punched in the face? Usually when I feel like this, I go to the bathroom or bedroom and wank."

Davy28 · Unread post by **Davy28** » Tue Mar 16, 2004 11:35 pm

You can't beat the ten second acid trip, though.

Woaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehh aaarrrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhh yyyyyyyyyyyyoooooooooooooooooooooooooough shiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt hubba hubba hubba

Whoa that was pretty cool.

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