New instrumental song-critique

Post recordings you have made here and get feedback from the community. Songwriting topics would also reside here.

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juineaux
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New instrumental song-critique

Unread post by juineaux » Fri Feb 20, 2004 4:20 pm

I wrote a new kottke influenced instrumental song. It sorta sounds too much like one of my other songs "water song", but that might just be me. Tell me what you think-

http://s94451478.onlinehome.us/newinstrumental.mp3

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Unread post by Johnny25 » Fri Feb 20, 2004 4:30 pm

really awesome, i like it! i havent heard you other song so I can't say if its too much like it, but this song is really great. it doesnt need it because it already has a lyrical sound, but you should add lyrics
If you don't like my fire, then don't come around, cause I'm gonna burn one down"

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Unread post by geekmug » Fri Feb 20, 2004 4:50 pm

sounds really good.. not sure how you are recording, sounds like maybe a microphone soley, if so, try aiming it away from the soundhole more, the recording comes off very boomy.

The composition is nice, though I wouldn't call it a kottke influenced piece if I didn't know that that was what you were going for.. beyond the fact that it would probably need to be on a 12-string to be called "kottke-esque" it is not quite up to his complexity in counter-lines and such.. but your song is still very good nonetheless.

8/10

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Unread post by Speenis » Fri Feb 20, 2004 4:54 pm

damn man, this is some beautiful stuff.... i could listen to this shit all day. nice guitar work!
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Unread post by Matty Boom » Fri Feb 20, 2004 4:57 pm

i just listened to watersong and the new one...and i think that the lead over the top is what seperates watersong from this and you've got that ringing open note in the rhythm for watersong, and after about 2:10 (?) or so in watersong that little breakdown it sounds nothing like the new one....i guess some of the stuff in the new one without the pickin sounds sounds like some of the lead for watersong, and the breakdown is kinda the same thing, but that's about the most i see in common (besides the fact that they're both awesome)

great work tom
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Unread post by juineaux » Fri Feb 20, 2004 5:28 pm

thanks guys :D

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Unread post by juineaux » Sat Feb 21, 2004 4:04 pm

now I need to think of a name for it....

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Unread post by MWR » Sat Feb 21, 2004 5:07 pm

That was awesome as expected. I'm not familiar with the water song so I can't compare. Perhaps the two could be combined in some way.
Too much similarity is a killer. As much as I love Ben Harper he tends to be a one trick pony particularly with his solo acoustic stuff. So my advice would be to seperate them as much as possible or just combine them. Do you have a link to the Water Song?

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Unread post by juineaux » Sat Feb 21, 2004 5:41 pm

Yea i agree alot of harpers solo stuff sounds similar(great, but similar), especially on live from mars. Now im trying to think of ways to seperate my two songs, and I think im gonna change the breakdown part of the new one, and make some of the little walkdown notes a bigger part of the song. Thanks again, and heres a link to water song:
http://s94451478.onlinehome.us/watersong.mp3

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Unread post by fatjack » Sun Feb 22, 2004 12:26 am

werd

that was good, it is a very solid piece and is very enjoyable to listen to. it lacked a certain flair of some of your other stuff, but it is still great. no complaints here
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Unread post by isaac » Sun Feb 22, 2004 12:39 am

love it as always, tom. you should just get a nice package of chopsticks.

we should do name suggestions!

hmm...

the fire of autumn laughter.
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