Stay Up: An Original

Post recordings you have made here and get feedback from the community. Songwriting topics would also reside here.

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SomeDevil0879
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Stay Up: An Original

Unread post by SomeDevil0879 » Wed Nov 12, 2003 6:01 pm

Let me know what you think. This is my first time attempting recording, so the quality is not fantastic. You may have to turn up the volume on your speakers a little higher than normal. One more warning, I recorded this quickly so the guitar is not perfect. Anyway, I'd like some critiques.

Thanks,

Erik

http://www.angelfire.com/music5/erikcj79/Stay_Up_v1.mp3

Fat_tony
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Unread post by Fat_tony » Thu Nov 13, 2003 6:55 am

generally very good nice rythem pretty funky, i think it needs a second guitar. i played along with a bit of lead i think just gives the song a bit more depth.

longleggedfrog
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Unread post by longleggedfrog » Thu Nov 13, 2003 7:22 am

Not bad, The guitar part was pretty good and I was even tapping my foot at a couple spots. I really liked how you started off with the vocal melody, but then at certain spots, you lost me, either it didn't fit and you forced it, or it didn't have the same catch the first line had. Unfortunately, I don't remember the content of the song, so i'm not sure there was a solid hook. The guitar part got a little repetitive, and I'm okay with repetition as long as the vocal part keeps me hooked. Anyway, overall, I thought it was pretty good.
"I tried to pass for nothing, but my dreams gave me away."
Check out some originals:
http://www.kennyclark.net

SomeDevil0879
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Unread post by SomeDevil0879 » Thu Nov 13, 2003 3:01 pm

Thanks for the comments. Anyone have any comments about my voice in particular? Just wondering...

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t41
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Unread post by t41 » Fri Nov 14, 2003 5:43 am

SomeDevil0879 wrote:Thanks for the comments. Anyone have any comments about my voice in particular? Just wondering...
this is one of the most promising original works i've heard on all the dmb boards. i like it a lot. vary up the guitar a bit and it'd be great -- don't polish this too much if you record it for real, cause it'll sound better if there's just a little roughness. your voice sounds good but sing some of it a little more forcefully without straining it.

longleggedfrog
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Unread post by longleggedfrog » Fri Nov 14, 2003 7:32 am

I thought your voice sounded good. I wish my voice was as good. I mean it's not whitney or anything but sounded really nice.
"I tried to pass for nothing, but my dreams gave me away."
Check out some originals:
http://www.kennyclark.net

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mdel21
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Unread post by mdel21 » Fri Nov 14, 2003 1:30 pm

I really liked it, it's pretty good. Post some more if you got anymore.

Del

ludes454
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Unread post by ludes454 » Wed Nov 19, 2003 3:41 pm

Dang dude!! I dig it!! Putting it in my playlist as we speak - it has a really groovin feel to it Props
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EnFuego
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Unread post by EnFuego » Wed Nov 19, 2003 5:03 pm

can't get the link to work :(

borocks
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Unread post by borocks » Thu Nov 20, 2003 4:30 am

the rhythm is very nice and sounds kinda funky. A liked the part that's slightly different a lot, your chorus or whatever.

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SomeDevil0879
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Unread post by SomeDevil0879 » Fri Nov 21, 2003 2:06 pm

Thanks for the comments everyone. I truly appreciate the critiques. I took down the original version of the song b/c I'm going to include the lyrics to the whole song the next time I record it. I'll have it back up in a couple days. In case anyone is interested, I'm going to post some of my other originals soon. Hopefully, I can figure out a way to get better sound quality...if anyone has any suggestions, I'd appreciate it. I'm new to the recording thing.

Erik

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