If I was God

Post recordings you have made here and get feedback from the community. Songwriting topics would also reside here.

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longleggedfrog
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If I was God

Unread post by longleggedfrog » Thu Jul 03, 2003 11:06 am

Alright, so here is another song, called If I was God. Just thru a computer all at once so.....the quality is what it is. Hope you enjoy. And please, let me know what you think.

http://www.angelfire.com/apes2/kingtownmonkeybiz/
"I tried to pass for nothing, but my dreams gave me away."
Check out some originals:
http://www.kennyclark.net

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Trippin Hillbilly
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Unread post by Trippin Hillbilly » Thu Jul 03, 2003 12:56 pm

I liked this track alot, I especially like the chorus.. it really surprised me.
Very nice man..
Maybe a little repetitive but it kinda suits the song..
The ending was a bit borderline though in my opinion, my suggestion would be to add a tiny little jam at the end.... kinda like the ending to 'The song that jane likes'.

I think that would make the song for me..
Very nice work longleggedfrog..

I'm enjoying your tracks :D

longleggedfrog
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Unread post by longleggedfrog » Thu Jul 03, 2003 2:41 pm

Thanks trippin hillbilly, I appreciate the feedback. I totally agree about the ending. I thought an abrupt ending might be good, but I like your idea better. Thanks again for the advice and kind words.
"I tried to pass for nothing, but my dreams gave me away."
Check out some originals:
http://www.kennyclark.net

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Roastbeef
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Unread post by Roastbeef » Thu Jul 03, 2003 3:20 pm

Hey longleggedfrog! I took a listen. Here are my thoughts. You come up with some really nice chord changes, but like Get in Line you get into this very repetitive strumming pattern. In fact this song's strumming is very similar to Get in Line. But hey, I guess that's your style...

I would try to mix it up a little bit to hold your audience's interest. I think you have some solid foundations here. Just add something interesting to each one. Take your audience somewhere. These tunes are fun to listen to, but I come away wanting more. Don't know if that makes any sense.

You do hold your rythym very well. You've got a great sense of timing.

This is all opinion, and for the record, I'm terrible as a songwriter so take all this for what it's worth. I'm just trying to provide feedback as a listener. Please don't take it too critically.

Keep going!

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acidrain
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Unread post by acidrain » Thu Jul 03, 2003 4:41 pm

damn Angelfire..
Angelfire wrote:The Angelfire site you are trying to reach has been temporarily suspended due to excessive bandwidth consumption.

The site will be available again in approximately 1 hours!
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longleggedfrog
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Unread post by longleggedfrog » Fri Jul 04, 2003 9:46 am

That angel fire keeps going down on me and not in a good way... hey Roast thanks for the advice. I have started to hear some of the things you are talking about and I am gonna try and mix things up a little bit, but I do seem to get into a pattern for each song and it is hard for me to break of from that pattern. The other thing I notice is you can't hear a lot of the little changes when recorded in the computer, because i hear them live.....and the computer makes it all sound....well...singular, it all sorta sounds the same. I think that some of my songs do break the pattern, a little anyway. I have another song I'll be posting soon, and I hope you like it, it has some more variations in it and a bridge, which obviously help break it up a bit. Thanks again. I really appreciate!
"I tried to pass for nothing, but my dreams gave me away."
Check out some originals:
http://www.kennyclark.net

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firedancer86
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Unread post by firedancer86 » Fri Jul 04, 2003 1:58 pm

cool tune, but as a prog fan, I like to hear a little chang-up...so like the others have pointed out, add something (maybe another riff) to seperate it from repatition...all in all it has potential man... :)
"serinity now...insanity later"
http://www.myspace.com/philiplucas

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