First Original. Please critique

[ut4ever8]

This isn't the first song Ive written. Just the first one Ive posted. Ive been pretty nervous about postinf originals because every time I write something I end up thinking it sounds too much like another song or its just a bunch of cheesy metaphors and what not. So i literally just sat down and wrote for ten minutes, put it to some chords in ten more minutes and improvised a little lead while recording. So the song is really just a rough draft by all means. I screwed up some of the words. I would like input on the song itself but the main reason I wanted to post an original was because I wanted more advice on my vocals. I still can't seem to get over the lack of confidence in my voice so I thought it might help a little to play something of my own to avoid getting caught up in sounding just like the original artist. Anyways, Please critique anything and everything. I really appreciate all the help. I still haven't managed to play anywhere live and I think Im almost ready as far as anxiety goes. Thanks again

I still Love you (temporary name)- http://www.sendspace.com/file/tzhlik

[afurth]

Your guitar playing is spot on, and it doesn't seem to be affected by the singing (unless you did this on separate tracks - then that would explain it). You have a very dylanesque timbre to your voice. You embrace it well, but there are times where you lose pitch. Don't try to do too much with the vocals. Stick to melodies like you do on guitar. The melody must be hit with vocal notes just like it has to be hit when you play. So try to recognize the melody you're going for and stick it.

When you get good, you can vary melodies depending on how you feel or how drunk you are (haha), but like a good guitar solo you have to hear it in your head before you can stick it.

Not bad though. A lot of missed notes, but the majority was in key and embraced your natural voice, which is a clutch starting point for any singer.

[ut4ever8]

Thanks Andrew I appreciate it. It was all done in one take by the way. I was getting so critical of my own lyrics that I wanted to just sit down and write a song fairly quickly and record it just leaving it as it is because I was getting so caught up in making the lyrics perfect that I was over emphasizing way too many things and it was just screwing things up. So I just wanted to write something, leave it as it is and see what people thought. Thanks though.

As far as missing notes, is there anything you can do to practice that, because when I sing I dont really notice that I am missing notes. When I play it back I can hear it I guess but its always hard to put it together by recording, listening, rerecording, listening and so on.

[afurth]

right... the missed notes come with practice and comfort. but you really have to focus on the vocal melody. the guitar has to be beyond second nature so you can focus on your singing.

overall, just keep playing. its good that you can recognize the imperfections afterwards. as you keep having experiences, you will develop an ear while you're singing. rock on man!

[ut4ever8]

Anyone else care to share some input?