Does this sound too much like (insert acoustic artist)?

[Banjobach]

Since posting song ideas seems to be the new craze and because I'm in college and busy as all hell, I have a youtube video with poor sound quality for you guys. However, the chorus I'm afraid sounds like a song that I haven't heard yet or even worse, the song as a whole sounds too much like dave or something. It's a tad edgy so don't expect no soft shit son!@#*@*&$OMGWTFBBQ
http://youtube.com/watch?v=KouCP8F3Rc0

[SeekUp]

You should make that into a full song man. I really enjoyed it. I wouldn't worry about sounding like Dave too much because he's probably one of your influences and you should hear that in your stuff.

[RunsWithBuffalo]

Honestly to many strings ringing at one, its too muddy. If it reminds me of anything Dave..ish it would be some variation of the D&T Crush jam outro but not too much so i wouldnt worry about that.

I think it would help the muddiness to play a little softer or maybe your action is a bit too high? It just seem like your fingers have to come off the fretboard too much for those hammer ons to ring.

Still its got potential, but like he says in Knocked UP...TIGHTEN!

Can't wait to hear a refined version.

[Banjobach]

Thanks for the feedback. I agree that this particular take was sloppy but I'm not too worried about brushing it up, just a little more practice and I should have it down (I finished writing it yesterday). My main fear was that it sounded too "influenced" if you know what I mean. I have a rough vocal melody but I don't have much time to myself to sing (the drawbacks of dorm life). Hopefully I can get it finished and recorded within the next week.
Thanks again.