First Original with Lyrics.

[Jakis]

Hey,
this is the first original I have writtent with lyrics. The song is about a house me and my friends were supposed to move into but it turned out to be a dump. Anyways here it is.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/cxysnc

cheers,

Jake

[mangold]

.omg?


forgive my comments, but i just listened to mitch's new orginal, and this doesn't compare.

the instrumentals are cookie cutter, are they power chords? barre? they dont sound very full. its a very simple progression, which you could get away with if you had a really catchy melody or you played the song more dynamically, but you don't.

you need to work on your voice. you're speaking not really singing. its a problem that most people have when they start out, i did it for like over a year. just work on increasing your volume and sing in your head voice.

overall, this is not that bad, especially for someone not as experienced. Just keep working on it man. You have a good sense of rhythm and a nice foundation here, just keep working and keep posting!