Original- Really Who Are You

[HumbleMonkey]

again, the vocals are soft, not exactly how i would normally sing it but you get the idea how it should be.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?a ... CE218366E9


Really Who Are You

When you look into that mirror do you like whats reflecting back at you
Are you surprised at all to look on that wall and see something that isnt you

A traveller stands on the welcome mat on the floor
He looks cold and hungry, you let him pass through your door
You offer him a bite and something to drink
It freezes your heart to see him on the brink
Of something that you truly do not know
Clean as dirt and deep as a puddle
To you he is brick wall but to him you are a window
He sees through to your thoughts and your dreams
Does it bother at that he sees those scary things
Grab hold of the rope thats twirllin and tossin
And take root if you will of the old oak tree
Bury your hate deep into the ocean
Its not worth the risk of causing a commotion

You can shatter a mirror if you dont like your reflection
But there's no getting rid of that ugly depravation

[JonesI15]

I didn't enjoy this one as much. The middle verse seemed like it went on for too long and the things you were saying just got bunched together. I think it has possibility for a good one, but it just felt off in the middle.

[HumbleMonkey]

I didn't enjoy this one as much. The middle verse seemed like it went on for too long and the things you were saying just got bunched together. I think it has possibility for a good one, but it just felt off in the middle.

thanks, ill try to rework the song, i didnt really write it this way on purpose, it just worked itself into the short beginning and end with that large middle. thanks again

[mangold]

The harp kinda bothers me, it sounds like you just got the whole thing in your mouth and you're breathing.

The vocals are better than ususal for you, much more like dylan and less like talking.

I like this one. keep er up

[Dutch]

definite dylan similarities in the vocal style.

as far as the harp goes i see what you're trying to do with it, but i think it needs some work. thats a cool sound when it works, but i think it needs to be thought oout more.

you've got to be diggin dylan, and thats cool with me

[HumbleMonkey]

definite dylan similarities in the vocal style.

as far as the harp goes i see what you're trying to do with it, but i think it needs some work. thats a cool sound when it works, but i think it needs to be thought oout more.

you've got to be diggin dylan, and thats cool with me

the harp is bad in this i know, this was the first time really that ive used it in a while, i was just a little rusty when i did this, its not how its supposed to be really, thanks for the critique

[Appfro]

i like this one. you're almost singing but this is like the third or fourth one i've heard w/ good rhythm, so that has most definitely improved. yea, i dig this one a lot. just work on that voice