New song (Now Recorded)

[Appfro]

My Reality

I know what I see
Not sure what has happened to me
The tables of time climbed ahead of my reality

I know what I feel
Not sure what is real anymore
The tables of time climbed ahead of my reality

Pre-chorus
Where did the time go?
Where did my mind wonder to?
When did I wake up to not know the man in the mirror staring back at me?

Chorus
Yesterday’s gone
But tomorrow’s coming to fast for me
Too scared to look beyond the door of my perception

The days of my youth
Gone in a swoop of polluted wind
The hands of time won’t rewind to my reality

One era is gone
The other belongs to an older man
The hands of time won’t rewind to my reality

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?a ... DF7A95C265

[Firedncin8nancy]

Yesterday’s gone
But tomorrow’s coming to fast for me
Too scared to look beyond the door of my perception

The days of my youth
Gone in a swoop of polluted wind
The hands of time won’t rewind to my reality


i like those parts.. im indifferent about the rest though. although with a nice vocal melody it could be solid

[Appfro]

i appreciate the feedback. i'll look into those other lyrics.

[Trippin Hillbilly]

Sounds good Mitch. But it's hard to crit lyrics, I would never suggest changing lyrics without hearing how they are sung first. It's all about the delivery for me.

ps: I listen to all your recordings.

[Appfro]

Sounds good Mitch. But it's hard to crit lyrics, I would never suggest changing lyrics without hearing how they are sung first. It's all about the delivery for me.

ps: I listen to all your recordings.

i know you do man you're faithful, and i really do appreciate it. it's just that you put so much effort into a recording, well, you know. and then you only get 3 or 4 replies w/ no critiques. it's discouraging. there are only a few names here that people flock to to listen, and i'm not one of them apparently. but i do appreciate you listening to all my stuff, as do i for your stuff. if i ever get it recorded for my own personal use, i'll definitely give you a listen. it switches back and forth between 11/8 and 6/8 time sig.

[Brock]

I agree with Miguel - hard to critique without hearing them set to music. I like most of them, but I'm not sure I like "The tables of time climbed ahead of my reality", mostly because I have no idea what the tables of time are. Is there a better way to express that idea?

[Appfro]

i guess what it's supposed to mean is that time has skipped ahead faster than how you perceived it. ie, you wake up one day and you're done w/ school and you're starting life in the working world, getting married in two months and you don't remember being that old i want to keep the reality word in there. but i'll see what i can think of that will fit w/ the song that will make a little more sense. i want to keep it a little ambiguous, but i don't want it to be sensless.

[Banjobach]

Hey there, I liked it, though i cant say i relate to it as im 17. But i see what you are trying to convey and you did it well. Just like the others, i would like to hear how the song sounds. The words just stick better when they are to melody. As for the whole "no listens anymore," I know what you mean, i'm getting that way too. Seeing your posts fall more everyday with only one reply is discouraging. Hopefully enough people will ask for a recording to get you motivated. Keep on keepin' on

[Appfro]

thanks for the reply. i used to listen to everyone's. i'm just as guilty as anyone else. it just takes so much time. mostly now, i just listen to originals pretty much now. i might try to lay this one down next week.

[HumbleMonkey]

ok. nothing profound that really hits me but they are decent. i picked toss'em but i didnt really mean that. but i would change more than a few things. like i said its real bad, to it just feels kinda like been there done that. maybe you could spice it up a little more. but again not bad

[Appfro]

ok. nothing profound that really hits me but they are decent. i picked toss'em but i didnt really mean that. but i would change more than a few things. like i said its real bad, to it just feels kinda like been there done that. maybe you could spice it up a little more. but again not bad

are you just a walking contradiction in every aspect of your life? i have no clue what you're trying to say to me.

[HumbleMonkey]

ok. nothing profound that really hits me but they are decent. i picked toss'em but i didnt really mean that. but i would change more than a few things. like i said its NOT real bad, to it just feels kinda like been there done that. maybe you could spice it up a little more. but again not bad

are you just a walking contradiction in every aspect of your life? i have no clue what you're trying to say to me.

sry a few typos, i didnt mean real bad, i meant not real bad

[HumbleMonkey]

to make it clear. i think they are decent lyrics, im not blown away but they arent bad. i think they would work for one of your songs. change whatever you want to them, or whatever you feel needs to be changed

[Appfro]

well, i went ahead and recorded it. i think i was just more stressed last week from the paper than anything else. anyway, didn't mean to say that people don't listen, i'm sure people do, it may just not get the responses that i want all of the time. anyway, it's recorded and i hope you guys enjoy. the link is on the first post.

[a1075dd63aa12]

sounds really good mitch. i really enjoyed it. the guitar sounds on point, not really much to critique there.

the vocals are outstanding as well for me, i like the way you used your voice on this song. the way you used it almost makes the lyrics (which i felt were fine anyway) not really the staple of the song, if that makes any sense. the tune has a very very ben harperish feel to it at points, which is a good thing.

i struggle with reviews describing music is a very hard thing to do.

overall, i really like the tune, definitely a keeper. i might be biased because this is right up my alley as far as how i like to hear acoustic tunes.