Critique, PLEASE!!

Post recordings you have made here and get feedback from the community. Songwriting topics would also reside here.

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spam8586
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Joined: Thu Sep 16, 2004 1:38 pm

Critique, PLEASE!!

Unread post by spam8586 » Tue Oct 04, 2005 11:45 pm

Hey all,
I've been writing songs for about a year now and thought it would be nice to finally have someone who I don't know offer criticisms. Any and all comments are welcome! Thanks.
Sam
http://s52.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2QHM ... 7HTEBKI5CW
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spam8586
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Joined: Thu Sep 16, 2004 1:38 pm

Unread post by spam8586 » Wed Oct 05, 2005 4:30 pm

anyone? Just looking for some general opinions, please.
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jellyfish
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Unread post by jellyfish » Wed Oct 05, 2005 4:44 pm

spam8586 wrote:anyone? Just looking for some general opinions, please.
Im downlaoding it right now.
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jellyfish
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Unread post by jellyfish » Wed Oct 05, 2005 4:49 pm

Intro - Guitar needs to be cleaner, not sound wise but picking wise.

Verse - OK rythym. You should play it like that in the intro.

Voice- it's not a bad voice but try singing rather than talking. You did carry off a few notes. pretty well... but you mostly talked rythmically.

In the chorus you did sing and it sounded alot better. Try to maintain that intensity while singing the verse.

That's all I got for now...
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worldofsweetness
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Unread post by worldofsweetness » Wed Oct 05, 2005 8:11 pm

I thought your lyrics were really clever, especially "i'll be your moses if you'll be my promised land," and the "burning bush" bit. :D do you happen to write any religious tunes? you've got a knack for it.

The only thing i would recommend is to try and make your voice and the guitar flow as separate instruments. What I mean is, it sounds better if the voice and guitar aren't always doing the exact same rythm. Other than that, I thought it sounded cool when the two voices came in together. Good job.
"Math, my dear boy, is merely the lesbian sister of biology." -Peter!
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