Original from me..

captainp4 · Unread post by **captainp4** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 11:12 pm

Ok, this is the first time I've recorded myself and my guitar on a song I wrote, so go easy on me..

I ran out of lyrics, so the guitar just kinda goes on playing the same thing over and over again, lol. Still a work in progress, let me know what i should work on..

http://s39.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=04LG ... AJ3QKCC6NA

thanks guys,

Paul

fatjack · Unread post by **fatjack** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 12:34 am

your avatar is wonderful

captainp4 · Unread post by **captainp4** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 7:56 am

thank you.

Did you get a chance to listen?

captainp4 · Unread post by **captainp4** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 1:55 pm

anyone?

please?

Tranman66 · Unread post by **Tranman66** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 4:09 pm

ok, i'll comment for the spirit of the board. anyway

vocal = weak, bearly any. nothing much to listen for. hit your enough

Guitar = timing is weak, rhythm is off at time.

Song = lacks dynamics and energy. Not enough flow.

Decent job man, but not good enough.

captainp4 · Unread post by **captainp4** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 5:09 pm

Ok, i know the rhythm is off at around 220. i just wasn't paying attention-my drummer can take care of that. Was it off anywhere else?

I'll work on finishing it up and recording a better vocal track.

Also, what is 'hit your enough' mean?

thanks for the comment.

ps- what about the vocals? Are they terrible or something to work with? Its hard to judge yourself, yanno?

Tranman66 · Unread post by **Tranman66** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 5:55 pm

oh sorry i meant " hit your notes more"

jellyfish · Unread post by **jellyfish** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 6:32 pm

captainp4 wrote:anyone?

please?

To be honest, I don't think you should sing yet. Practice your vocals more than anything.... A decent voclaist will be able to carry any tune no matter how crappy the music is. I honestly couldn't focus in the guitar due to the vocals. Again, Im just trying to be helpful, not mean.

captainp4 · Unread post by **captainp4** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 7:43 pm

Could you be more specific as to what i need to work on? I'm really trying to be better but I don't know where to start.

Do I need to support my voice more? Is it off key? To me it sounds like its pretty close to on. Thanks for anything. Go ahead and be mean if thats what you have to do to tell me something. I was just looking for some constructive crit. Thanks again.

edit- when you say 'no matter how crappy the music is' does that mean my music is crappy too?

jellyfish · Unread post by **jellyfish** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 8:13 pm

captainp4 wrote:Could you be more specific as to what i need to work on? I'm really trying to be better but I don't know where to start.

Do I need to support my voice more? Is it off key? To me it sounds like its pretty close to on. Thanks for anything. Go ahead and be mean if thats what you have to do to tell me something. I was just looking for some constructive crit. Thanks again.

edit- when you say 'no matter how crappy the music is' does that mean my music is crappy too?

First off, I want to make sure Im referring to the right song/songwriter. Im redownloading the file but it is stalling on me. If I'm referring to the right song, I would say your voice is off key and your breathing went from whispering to talking. You didn't actually sing the song but more or less talked through it and didn't stay in tune through the words. And you only hit the high note Once during all attempts. Very similiar to Trey Anastasio's style. Howvever, I really did like the guitar part after listening a second time. Just try to sing rather than talk. Good Luck

captainp4 · Unread post by **captainp4** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 8:23 pm

Alright, let me know if you need me to send it to you over AIM or something. I appreciate taking the time to listen.

jellyfish · Unread post by **jellyfish** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 8:25 pm

captainp4 wrote:Alright, let me know if you need me to send it to you over AIM or something. I appreciate taking the time to listen.

That was the song.

captainp4 · Unread post by **captainp4** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 8:35 pm

ok. I'm going to try to finish up the lyrics and try to record a better vocal track for more critiqing when i get over this cold. Practice makes perfect(better than before), eh?

thanks again.

jellyfish · Unread post by **jellyfish** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 8:48 pm

captainp4 wrote:ok. I'm going to try to finish up the lyrics and try to record a better vocal track for more critiqing when i get over this cold. Practice makes perfect(better than before), eh?

thanks again.

Make sure you have a decent mic. It helps alot!! Plus sonstantly record every time you sing. See what sounds good and stick with it.

DMBTabs.com

Original from me..

Original from me..

Who is online