Summer and Dazed. Original. Please check it out.

[Tranman66]

http://s51.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1MMJ ... HHS5XKZK0J

please critique. I am in middle ground, and i need to improve. This is a draft.

[dmbguitar718]

well mr. bundy, it's pretty cluttered and it jumps all over the place. there's some good ideas, but they all don't fit together very well. Your tempo is all over the place, it's like it's a medley. Focus on the actual song and melody, not all the fancy taps and stuff.

That's pretty much the impression I got. Don't overdo it with the fancy techniques, and think about the song as a whole and how everything works together. Try to create something with a hook that will capture people's attention.

[Tranman66]

thanks pat... i know what you said and you're right, but i really dont know how to do the things you said. ugh, its hard and frustrating man, but yeah, i'll work on it.

[catho]

This kind of music is only good with video IMO.

Boring, but probably incredible to watch! Could you fix a video instead?

[Tranman66]

haha i cant, but i just listened to it again, and realized how much of a medley this is. its dreadful.

[MWR]

O.k. You need to focus on rhythm first and foremost. I can't for the life of me understand why you're playing this fast when you can't keep a consistant tempo.
This is the problem with the newer generation of guitarists that are influenced by your Trace Bundy's and Just Kings. It's all about being "impressive" but it inspires so little thought in the melody. The current middle aged guitar greats, like Tommy Emmanuel, listened to Chet Atkins when they were growing up. He was not about having amazing chops at all, he was about playing passionate melodies. I wish these next generation guitarists could get back to that place and start inspiring real music.

rant/

[catho]

O.k. You need to focus on rhythm first and foremost. I can't for the life of me understand why you're playing this fast when you can't keep a consistant tempo.
This is the problem with the newer generation of guitarists that are influenced by your Trace Bundy's and Just Kings. It's all about being "impressive" but it inspires so little thought in the melody. The current middle aged guitar greats, like Tommy Emmanuel, listened to Chet Atkins when they were growing up. He was not about having amazing chops at all, he was about playing passionate melodies. I wish these next generation guitarists could get back to that place and start inspiring real music.

rant/

Though I think you are way too harsh I totally agree with what you're saying. For myself, rhytem is the most important, all my fellow "shredders" thinks I'm an ass for always prefering a cool rhytem over Ynwgie shredding but hey! My stuff comes out as more listenable so I win!

There's this fellow that always goes after me when I'm at music class and he always tries to impress me with his superfast licks. Really, all he plays are things like Stairway to Heaven solo but doublespeed and really sloppy. It pisses me off so much, stop following me or play real music instead of showing off like a jerk. I'm serious btw, he really follows me and tries to get my attention.. maybe he's in love with me?

However, when I performed recently, and he performed at the same gig but different song, people came up to me and said that my guitar was sweet and really solid and while they said that to me they also said that they thought the other guy (my lover) was awfull and sloppy. I just played a solid rhytem with a few open chords and a little slide here and there and I did it 100% correct whereas my lover played bouncy with hammers and pulls etc which caused him to play like shit because he wasnt good enough to do it but he believed himself to be.

Lesson to be learnt is that music is supposed to sound GOOD, not "cool"! If one wants to shred you still have to start with the basis at a slow speed in order to shred correctly.

Oh and, yeah, he really follows me around, I'm not joking and I tell him to piss off (implied, not literally).

I don't think the matter applies to you though Tranman. Though I do think that you lost the tempo quite a bit, but as long as you repent and remedy the problem, what's to bitch about?

Edit: Hah, I cant spell shit.. Just acknowledging this, Im not in the mood to correct my faults.

[Trippin Hillbilly]

O.k. You need to focus on rhythm first and foremost. I can't for the life of me understand why you're playing this fast when you can't keep a consistant tempo.
This is the problem with the newer generation of guitarists that are influenced by your Trace Bundy's and Just Kings. It's all about being "impressive" but it inspires so little thought in the melody. The current middle aged guitar greats, like Tommy Emmanuel, listened to Chet Atkins when they were growing up. He was not about having amazing chops at all, he was about playing passionate melodies. I wish these next generation guitarists could get back to that place and start inspiring real music.

rant/

Though I think you are way too harsh I totally agree with what you're saying. For myself, rhytem is the most important, all my fellow "shredders" thinks I'm an ass for always prefering a cool rhytem over Ynwgie shredding but hey! My stuff comes out as more listenable so I win!

There's this fellow that always goes after me when I'm at music class and he always tries to impress me with his superfast licks. Really, all he plays are things like Stairway to Heaven solo but doublespeed and really sloppy. It pisses me off so much, stop following me or play real music instead of showing off like a jerk. I'm serious btw, he really follows me and tries to get my attention.. maybe he's in love with me?

However, when I performed recently, and he performed at the same gig but different song, people came up to me and said that my guitar was sweet and really solid and while they said that to me they also said that they thought the other guy (my lover) was awfull and sloppy. I just played a solid rhytem with a few open chords and a little slide here and there and I did it 100% correct whereas my lover played bouncy with hammers and pulls etc which caused him to play like shit because he wasnt good enough to do it but he believed himself to be.

Lesson to be learnt is that music is supposed to sound GOOD, not "cool"! If one wants to shred you still have to start with the basis at a slow speed in order to shred correctly.

Oh and, yeah, he really follows me around, I'm not joking and I tell him to piss off (implied, not literally).

I don't think the matter applies to you though Tranman. Though I do think that you lost the tempo quite a bit, but as long as you repent and remedy the problem, what's to bitch about?

Edit: Hah, I cant spell shit.. Just acknowledging this, Im not in the mood to correct my faults.

It sounds like you are in love with your ''lover''.

Tranman, lots of good ideas but like everyone has said, trying focusing on a good melody and build around it.

[catho]

O.k. You need to focus on rhythm first and foremost. I can't for the life of me understand why you're playing this fast when you can't keep a consistant tempo.
This is the problem with the newer generation of guitarists that are influenced by your Trace Bundy's and Just Kings. It's all about being "impressive" but it inspires so little thought in the melody. The current middle aged guitar greats, like Tommy Emmanuel, listened to Chet Atkins when they were growing up. He was not about having amazing chops at all, he was about playing passionate melodies. I wish these next generation guitarists could get back to that place and start inspiring real music.

rant/

Though I think you are way too harsh I totally agree with what you're saying. For myself, rhytem is the most important, all my fellow "shredders" thinks I'm an ass for always prefering a cool rhytem over Ynwgie shredding but hey! My stuff comes out as more listenable so I win!

There's this fellow that always goes after me when I'm at music class and he always tries to impress me with his superfast licks. Really, all he plays are things like Stairway to Heaven solo but doublespeed and really sloppy. It pisses me off so much, stop following me or play real music instead of showing off like a jerk. I'm serious btw, he really follows me and tries to get my attention.. maybe he's in love with me?

However, when I performed recently, and he performed at the same gig but different song, people came up to me and said that my guitar was sweet and really solid and while they said that to me they also said that they thought the other guy (my lover) was awfull and sloppy. I just played a solid rhytem with a few open chords and a little slide here and there and I did it 100% correct whereas my lover played bouncy with hammers and pulls etc which caused him to play like shit because he wasnt good enough to do it but he believed himself to be.

Lesson to be learnt is that music is supposed to sound GOOD, not "cool"! If one wants to shred you still have to start with the basis at a slow speed in order to shred correctly.

Oh and, yeah, he really follows me around, I'm not joking and I tell him to piss off (implied, not literally).

I don't think the matter applies to you though Tranman. Though I do think that you lost the tempo quite a bit, but as long as you repent and remedy the problem, what's to bitch about?

Edit: Hah, I cant spell shit.. Just acknowledging this, Im not in the mood to correct my faults.

It sounds like you are in love with your ''lover''.

Tranman, lots of good ideas but like everyone has said, trying focusing on a good melody and build around it.

Pfft... really mature...

[brandtmarc]

I think you did a good job here Tranman , i guess you could always practice a bit more to get it even more tight. But this shit kicks ass, great riff ideas.

I do not agree with the other posts, even though some violins or cellos playing chords in the background would create more depth in the tune.
Just add some other instruments and it will be great

[catho]

I think you did a good job here Tranman , i guess you could always practice a bit more to get it even more tight. But this shit kicks ass, great riff ideas.

I do not agree with the other posts, even though some violins or cellos playing chords in the background would create more depth in the tune.
Just add some other instruments and it will be great

It kicks ass, but it would kick more ass with a video to accompany it!!! Don't you agree???

[Tranman66]

please dont praise me, even my previous song Spring delight is better than this one, you can listen to it on my website. I dont have a videocamera, sorry there.

i agree with melody. but theres one more thing, i need to be able to make more distinct rhythm, or my songs are gonna sound the same. Thats hard also. Its gonna be a long way, but definitely a higher level to reach.

[catho]

please dont praise me, even my previous song Spring delight is better than this one, you can listen to it on my website. I dont have a videocamera, sorry there.

i agree with melody. but theres one more thing, i need to be able to make more distinct rhythm, or my songs are gonna sound the same. Thats hard also. Its gonna be a long way, but definitely a higher level to reach.

Get one?

[mangold]

link wont work for me...

[Beauford33]

link wont work for me...

Dont worry about it, he doesnt want your opinion.

The beginning sounds like there is no real form to it. Kinda sounds like you would play something until you though of some other fast riff and just switch at any given moment. When you slowed it down, it more understandable and thus, more enjoyable.