Finished new song

T1nM4n · Unread post by **T1nM4n** » Mon May 09, 2005 10:18 pm

ok well earlier i posted the beginings of a song, i changed a few lyrics and finsihed the whole song, i still might make some changes and really want to add a bridge or sumthing to make it not sound so repititous. its a lil late here so i didnt sing the best in fear of waking the parents. and i put my retainer in for the night and forgot to take it out to sing this, but what can you do, tell me what you think of it all, (vocals still need work, i know)

thanks

http://s11.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0XZH ... XH9K4KG74I

T1nM4n · Unread post by **T1nM4n** » Mon May 09, 2005 10:19 pm

o yeah and the vocals are accidently panned to the left, that can be fixed later

Rowlf · Unread post by **Rowlf** » Tue May 10, 2005 3:28 am

heya!

cool song! You should work this one out a bit. As far as the vocals go, I won't comment too much, because you know they need work. Did you record them together with the guitar ? If so, I'd suggest to split them, and record the vocals over the guitar, because you seem rushed ... seems like you're concentrating on something else while you're singing ... and if you recorded the vocal track separately, I don't wanna know what you were thinking

... and on some notes you're way off key ... a solution may be to record your vocal track in separate blocks (it's easy to do in cool edit, for example) start out with the 1st verse, record it over and over again untill you get one you're satisfied with, then do the 2nd block (verse/chorus) ... this might filter out most of the wrong notes, I think.

As for the song, you build it up in the first chorus, but afterwards you kind of change the 2nd verse to fit the same drive you had in the chorus ... I wouldn't do that ... I'd let it fall back to the same relaxed feel you had in the first verse.

But overall, nice song ... it has potential!

Keep it up!

T1nM4n · Unread post by **T1nM4n** » Tue May 10, 2005 7:12 am

yes i did do them at the same time, ill try recording them into seperate tracks. And when you are talking about the 2nd verse being too build up to do you acualy mean the lyrics or the way im singing/playing them

Rowlf · Unread post by **Rowlf** » Tue May 10, 2005 7:23 am

the way you sing them ... the rhythm, the intensity ... I'd take it down a notch there and then let it build up again towards the end

T1nM4n · Unread post by **T1nM4n** » Tue May 10, 2005 9:03 am

ok ill try that

T1nM4n · Unread post by **T1nM4n** » Tue May 10, 2005 10:43 am

ok well i redid the vocals n stuff, i dont know if they are much better, my voice might not be all the good, i just started singing about a month ago, im looking into some sort of voice training. i played wtih a lil panning on the song, but i should i have the final recording up tonight

talk to ya then

mangold · Unread post by **mangold** » Tue May 10, 2005 8:25 pm

the instrumentals are great in this ross, but it seems like the vocals may be abit out of your range. you do a valiant job in spite of that, but the vocals could be better. As far as writing goes its decent, but i would like a little more variation and maybe a jam or breakdown thats a little heavier right at 2:43.

nice work keep workin and keep postin

T1nM4n · Unread post by **T1nM4n** » Wed May 11, 2005 9:30 am

ya im trying to work out a jam or bridge or sumthing to throw in there to mix it up, and untill i get over my sickness the vocals arent to hot, but i tried to "redo" it, im not to happy with the end result on this but i had to lend out my mics and recording stuff so ill jsut post what i did regardless, i have a big problem with the chorus, i dont know why it turned out so wierd, idk the vocals change a lot, but here it is anyways

http://s33.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2I15 ... RUGH725OD8

and also, i know my voice isnt that good, does anyone have and tips or anything to help me with that, my voice is really what i want to improve on right now

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Finished new song

Finished new song

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