**New Original-Moving on-Please Listen/Critique**

[AustinG]

Hey guys, I was poking around and thought I'd lay something down tonight.. Which I haven't done in a while. I'll have to lay some drums down this week and split up the tracks..

For now this is one take one mic, and little bit of compresison/reverb.

Let me know what you think. I'll post the Lyrics if someone asks..

Thanks

[Link updated 4/17]
http://www.sendspace.com/file/489zk8

[lyrics101]

Your throat is cut off -- are you doing that on purpose to get a sound? It's not like that the whole way through. Watch your jaw tension and, especially, the tension in the back of your neck. It tends to work it's way around and cut off the throat. You glottalize at times as well.

It's a nice voice, a nice tone to it. The song is very well constructed and a good listen, although at times it delves into what I reluctantly call "musical cliche," aspiring to an audience of listeners that I feel has already been appeased a thousand times over since Joni Mitchell birthed Jason Mraz, you understand?

What does exist here, however, is a skeleton for something very, very good.

Well done. [golf claps all around]

[AustinG]

Thanks I appreciate your critique, and your words of encouragement at the end..

Joni still rocks.. I really like her earlier work...(70s)

[AustinG]

Nobody else?

[RunsWithBuffalo]

I like it! The progession is cool, kinda reminds me of a RHCP song. You can sing very well and i like your voice. Its great how at the quiet parts you drop the guitar volume to match.

My only critique is that some of the words blend together too much. Work on your diction and opening your mouth wide when you sing and this should improve.

Overall i like the song and would love to hear it flushed out.

Ryan

[Iva]

nice..
U have a great voice, song has a good melody and u play good too!
u could work a bit on lyrics though.
but all in all very good!

what kind of mic/recording program are u using? the recording sounds great

[sfmartins]

nice..
U have a great voice, song has a good melody and u play good too!
u could work a bit on lyrics though.
but all in all very good!

what kind of mic/recording program are u using? the recording sounds great

Nice first post!

Welcome!

[Iva]

nice..
U have a great voice, song has a good melody and u play good too!
u could work a bit on lyrics though.
but all in all very good!

what kind of mic/recording program are u using? the recording sounds great

Nice first post!

Welcome!

thanks
one more music /guitar forum.. I'm a member of so many so I just hope I'll have the time to post here too

[AustinG]

Overall i like the song and would love to hear it flushed out.

Ryan

Thanks for the pointers Ryan, I appreciate you taking the time to listen. It's very much a compliment to be compared to RHCP.. I'll post a tracked version soon.

[AustinG]

nice..U have a great voice, song has a good melody and u play good too!
u could work a bit on lyrics though.
but all in all very good!

what kind of mic/recording program are u using? the recording sounds great

Thanks , for the critique, I appreciate your feedback.

I'm using Cubase SX, version 3x, mic=GroovTube GT55, Mackie Onyx 400F

I highly reccomend the Mackie, It's done nothing but work great