another new original - "fly"

[afurth]

hey guys. just finished a new one.

instead of making everyone download it, ive just posted it and made it available to stream on my website.

http://www.andrewfurth.com

its the first song.

tell me what you think.

[88Fingers]

Meh, edited.

[afurth]

Meh, edited.

? dunno what that means

[afurth]

i mean, if you think it does nothing for you, that's one thing.

this song is about a person contemplating suicide, but the optimistic outlook represents an ironic tone. its happy because the lyrics are sung with an optimistic tone - instead of with a tone of gloom. death - suicide - is a gloomy subject.

i've tried to represent the problem of a man contemplating this in a very personal way. that's what i'm trying to speak of.

again, if you think it does nothing for you, that's totally one thing. if NOT - i'd appreciate some constructive criticism, so that i can improve in the future.

[Appfro]

oh man. i loved the intro. i was hoping that would continue but you changed it once you got into the verse

i like the song. don't really have any critiques. a few missed vocal notes here and there, but nothing that's bad enough to even individually point out.

good simple progression, i dig it. and like i said, i really like the intro and verse breaks and the bridge is really cool too

[afurth]

oh man. i loved the intro. i was hoping that would continue but you changed it once you got into the verse

i like the song. don't really have any critiques. a few missed vocal notes here and there, but nothing that's bad enough to even individually point out.

good simple progression, i dig it. and like i said, i really like the intro and verse breaks and the bridge is really cool too

thanks, man. i was going to make it really complex like that off-time intro, but I had a hard time saying what I was trying to say with the lyrics when it was like that. so I kept the character of that progression throughout the song - and used the simple progression in the verse to tell the story.

I think i'm going to add that bridge breakdown as the outro to the song, too - when I play it live.

(and about the vocals - 70% of the verses were improvised - so the reason i missed a lot of the notes was because I was making them up haha - but i LOVED the way they turned out, so they're gonna stick )

[TriPPin'BiLLies']

Awesome job, this is one of the top original songs ive heard on these boards. Youre voice sounds great and the guitar playing was awesome. I like how the song had a story behind it and had meaning. You sound kind of like the Dispatch singer tho sometimes. Overall it sounded great, to bad I dont live near Boston or I would come watch you play live. Keep it up.

I also listened to Heavy Wings and thought that was even better. The intro was really good. It sounds like you have some great stuff.

[RunsWithBuffalo]

I swear that first chord is from an ashely simpson song... I may be crazy but i just kept expecting you to sing "all the pieces, pieces, pieces of me"

Maybe use a different voicing of the that chord or at least change the way you play it.

I liked the song a lot, your voice has a nice smokey quality, kind of like marc roberg or matt nathanson. The lyrics are heartfelt and honest, though there are some lines like: "loneliness is my only friend", that are a little cliche. That is certainly the exception not the rule, because most of the lyrics are very good.

Well done, your site is sweet too.

[afurth]

I swear that first chord is from an ashely simpson song... I may be crazy but i just kept expecting you to sing "all the pieces, pieces, pieces of me"

Maybe use a different voicing of the that chord or at least change the way you play it.

I liked the song a lot, your voice has a nice smokey quality, kind of like marc roberg or matt nathanson. The lyrics are heartfelt and honest, though there are some lines like: "loneliness is my only friend", that are a little cliche. That is certainly the exception not the rule, because most of the lyrics are very good.

Well done, your site is sweet too.

cool - thanks guys - i appreciate it. im working on the cheesy songwriting - people identify well with cliches you have to balance them.

[mangold]

not bad, i expect this kind of quality from you by now so i gonna be a little harsher.


first off, just the texture of your voice isnt so good at pulling off the slower deeper darker songs. despite the lyrics it still sounds like a happy song.

also, the song is kind of lacking a real hook and alot of the verses have some tofu lyrics that dont really have any meaning just sound pretty and fill up the song. if you want a deeper meaning you need to avoid writing lines for the sole purpose of being lyrical and make sure every line is sending the message you want to get across.

keep it up.


btw, with your voice i can hear you singing lemonstone style stuff, ever heard of them?

[Yakko]

The second song that plays on the page sounds a lot like #41, is that just me?

[afurth]

not bad, i expect this kind of quality from you by now so i gonna be a little harsher.


first off, just the texture of your voice isnt so good at pulling off the slower deeper darker songs. despite the lyrics it still sounds like a happy song.

also, the song is kind of lacking a real hook and alot of the verses have some tofu lyrics that dont really have any meaning just sound pretty and fill up the song. if you want a deeper meaning you need to avoid writing lines for the sole purpose of being lyrical and make sure every line is sending the message you want to get across.

keep it up.


btw, with your voice i can hear you singing lemonstone style stuff, ever heard of them?

thanks - i appreciate the constructive criticism more than anything else.

also, lemonstone - never heard of 'em - will definately check 'em out





BTW - does this song sound like 41? that really never crossed my mind at all. thanks for the feedback again.