#40

Post recordings you have made here and get feedback from the community. Songwriting topics would also reside here.

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isaac
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#40

Unread post by isaac » Sun Nov 16, 2003 7:16 pm

so uh...man it's been a while since i've posted something here. lol. anyway, wrote my own lyrics and critiques are welcome on them. i did this in one take, so nothing's perfect whether it be the string squeaks/buzzing, vocals, and recording quality, but what the hell. ;)

one mirror for now...if it goes down i'll add another link.
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#40

spare my heart of love
and you spend your time staring at the autumn
while the leaves chase you gray

and while we've learned to stand
we stand not so tall but very small inside
just high enough to hide our pride

i dream in fits of love
but love does me no good
when the ache breaks my tears
and my knees for you

and your foot's at the door
window open and your soul spills
into the rain
and i wait a little while for you

but the street lights are calling you
and you go
and i wait for the dawn to bring you home
always

and i sway
oh love i sway for the storm you leave me with
on my arms in the night

and you stay there and you stay easy
and i hate standing in this place
with your taste in my heart

and though you make your haste
haste is waste when all your skin is
but a shadow fading thin
and i fade so thin for you

while i watch the hands embrace
and the best i do is hold on
to strands of you
yet they too slip away from me

and a mourn fades into the morning
and i know
your steps will always lead you to stray
always

and no matter how hard i cry to my shaking fists
my shaking heart
i can't be strong enough and bold enough for you
to endure these winter days
snow strewn in my face and chills my soul
at the knowledge that you're gone away from me
by the wind and by the storm
and that's all that's left of you
all i know of you
anymore

come back to my palms pressed against your back
that are now pressed against the glass
waiting and aching for you
because i can't let you go
even though i know
i will never see your summer smile in another day
but i try
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chosta
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Unread post by chosta » Sun Nov 16, 2003 8:02 pm

props for those lyrics man...nice
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Unread post by MWR » Sun Nov 16, 2003 8:05 pm

The best part of that whole cover was the little ditty in the beggining. Honestly it was so rad. I don't know if you working on turning that into a song but it's def. worthy of it.
As for the cover it was good. I liked the orginal lyrics a lot but sometimes it sounded crammed together a bit. Your voice was better when you got louder towards the middle. On quiet parts of the song you didn't seem to be "singing" as much. I have heard a lot of people with this same problem so don't sweat it too much as it can be fixed. Overall a really cool cover with great originality.

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Unread post by Appfro » Sun Nov 16, 2003 9:54 pm

suspended, ill be back

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