Hey Mama - First Original

Post recordings you have made here and get feedback from the community. Songwriting topics would also reside here.

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DontplayIdidit
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Hey Mama - First Original

Unread post by DontplayIdidit » Fri Jan 20, 2006 3:53 pm

Hello all...first off, I just listened to Brian's original "75 Numb"...and it is incredible (Brian, I also have your cover of The Maker and American Song on my mp3). That made me want to post something I recorded a while ago, with a possibly similar meaning.

My buddy did the recording and the mixing...he plays lead and he and his girlfriend throw some hamonies on the chorus. I tried at the singing and rhythm guitar. Sad things suck...but let me know what you think.

(by the way, ignore the fact that when it starts to play in your media player, the artist says Phil Palmer and the song title is Il Cammino Dell' eta...Windows Media player did that the first time I played the recording way back when!!!)

Thanks!

http://s46.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3PLZ ... O4AXWM0RE3
Pittsburgh smells like the zoo

borocks
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Unread post by borocks » Fri Jan 20, 2006 5:07 pm

very mellow tune.

I'd reduce the distortion in the lead guitar track, although that stuff sounds very awesome.
The vocals sound very nice.
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DMBuds
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Unread post by DMBuds » Sat Jan 21, 2006 12:05 am

I agree with borocks on this one. The electric sounds way too meaty for the rest of the song. It would probably fit a lot better clean, with a bit of reverb or chorus.

Other than that though, I liked it. Image
If I could play the guitar as well as Dave Matthews,
you wouldn't be reading this quote right now. - DMBuds

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GreedylilPig
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Unread post by GreedylilPig » Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:32 pm

Wow, I'm really impressed. Great tune, man. I actually like the Journey-esque lead guitar. DMBuds mentioned his preference for a cleaner electric track with some reverb and chorus and I think that would sound great too, but your song is what it is, and I think it sounds great this way as well. The acoustic rhythm is just perfect and I like the harmonics throughout. Your voice is very original, smooth and enjoyable to listen to. I'd like to see the lyrics and to hear more from you.
-Brian

Be excellent to one another.

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topgun17
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Unread post by topgun17 » Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:53 pm

good stuff man
take what you can from your dreams, make them as real as anything-DJM

DontplayIdidit
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Unread post by DontplayIdidit » Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:14 pm

Thanks for the comments folks. I told that son of a beYotch friend of mine to play lead w/ his acoustic, but NOOOOO, he INSISTED on playing electric! Just kidding. In hindsight, since we never put a drum track down, he's since told me that he wished he would have played the lead on his acoustic. I personally like the way it sounds w/ the "slash-like" electric, but really appreciate the critique. Lyrics are below...they're pretty simple and to the point. Thanks again for the feedback.

As I lay my head down
By the side of the road
Often times I wonder
Where do your train go?

Bridge broke down yesterday
Water fallin', watch it flow
Time to roll the grey away
It's not time...

My heart it beats slowly
My head it feels oh so low
Remember days before this one
When I was little, how we've grown

Bridge broke down yesterday
Water fallin', watch it flow
Time to roll the grey away
It's not time...

Everybody's empty
What we seek we do not know
Won't you tell me when you get there
Hide that prize w/in your soul

Bridge broke down yesterday
Water fallin', watch it flow
Time to roll the grey away
It's not time...
Pittsburgh smells like the zoo

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DMBuds
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Unread post by DMBuds » Mon Jan 23, 2006 12:19 am

GreedylilPig wrote:Wow, I'm really impressed. Great tune, man. I actually like the Journey-esque lead guitar. DMBuds mentioned his preference for a cleaner electric track with some reverb and chorus and I think that would sound great too, but your song is what it is, and I think it sounds great this way as well.
Oh, I do agree, the song and music are excellent. Heck, even if DontplayIdidit doesn't decide to change it, the current electric would still sound good. I would just lower the volume on the electric so as not to overpower the acoustic as much.
If I could play the guitar as well as Dave Matthews,
you wouldn't be reading this quote right now. - DMBuds

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jaroben
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Unread post by jaroben » Mon Jan 23, 2006 3:29 pm

i like the heavy distortion. nice job, vocals and guitar.
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