My own lyric. If you all would be so kind..

[Scatter Brains]

Hello all. I'm new here, just joined. Anyway, I've been writing lately, and I wanted to know what you all thing of this lyrics. They just pooped(yes poop 8) ) out of my head while doing exercises. I've always been scared to show my stuff, so I decided to show it here. Since I don't know any of you. No holding back, be honest please.

And again, hello.


This Dog
Furry, loving , playful
Colored, and beautiful
Nice as a dog can be

Met with a man who
Thought himself
Master of this
Big beautiful doggy dog

One day, this man
This self proclaimed master
Of this beautiful dog
Make him pucker up his last kiss
Into the front bumper
Of a moving car

He splattered on the ground
Things that should be inside
Outside now
This doggy’s body
Mangled ,bleeding
Hit the ground without a soul
His soul was running
It was elsewhere,
It was elsewhere,from where it
Always had been

This man
This self-proclaimed
Superior master
Hated dogs so

Now, he grew down
While his kids grew up
And somewhere in between
His downing
And their upings of life.
Taught them to hate dogs so

This self proclaimed
Superior Master of the Dogs
Hated dogs so.

Sins of a father..
Sins of a father..

Sins of a Dog Hater

[Tranman66]

This is weird. I dont know how you would sing this. By reading it, it doesnt flow like lyrics. The way its written is more like a poem.

[Scatter Brains]

Really? Hmm...odd. Well, I know I can sing it. Since that's how it came out. I was hearing "Don't burn the pig" beat, so it would kinda sound like that. Then they came out, as well as the meaning behind it. So...yeah.

[Leibundgut17]

I thought that it coulda been written to a dave song, i couldnt figure out which one, but when i read u post reply it made sence....sins of a father sins of a father

dont burn the day away,
dont burn the day away.....peace


its not bad, kinda too playfull for me, and what tune u wanna record it to? u cant take Pig. i personally think it is easier to write lyrics to a given tune and rhytm than writing the song to the lyrics...thats why u quickly get ideas of different lyrics to a song...like pig.

Plus i think its hard jugde lyrics with out a song to it...and i dont feel like getting up and putting pig into my stereo...hehe.
Keep on posting ur stuff...

[Grandpagotgame]

A lot of songs are written weird as hell. If you gave us the music to it we might love the song. But man, that is a really weird topic to write about, and a weird song, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.