Original Song- First one!

[Doron Diamond]

I wrote and recorded my first song the other day. Problem is, my mixing skills are awful. It might not be anything great at all, but I have to admit the sound quality sounds fantastic on the 8-track with headphones, only to lose a LOT of its umph! on the computer. Still, it's something, and it'll have to do. Any feedback is much appreciated, and all I can ask, is that you turn the volume up full way, cause that's the only chance it can even start to sound like it does in it's original form. Thanks a ton for any feedback whatsoever.

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Job Hunt

Heaven never had no rainy weather
It's funny that you want me here to stay
People find it hard to come together
People have their reasons and their ways

People need the time to make their money
'Cause there's tons of bills we have to pay
Maybe there's no need to make it better
These are things you can't change anyway

I never had a place to go
To go
It's with regrets I'll never know
It takes a paranoia
Never had to plan it for ya

Maybe we can still make haste together
Come and cross the street with me today
We don't need the mountains and the deserts
Those are for the pigeons anyway

You know I have a fear of falling
I lost my place in line again today
Hear another Sunday morning calling
Another one slowly slips away

You know I'm bound to be a star
'Cause we don't know who we are

[Jc]

Lot's of hard work I'm sure, very nice Just a suggestion, I heard a harmonica at the end, that should be used as a riff through out the song after the chorus or something. Sounded great when I heard it.

[ludes454]

I like this song a lot, cool lyrics, catchy rhythm that kind of makes me smile, excellent harmonies and ya the harmonica should get some more time in the spotlight. I know i'm not being that critical but i wish i could write better songs so its hard for me to find the negatives in others songs

Good job man

[jwool]

Great song! Awesome production, and the recording sounded quite good to me. Nice job.

Jeff
http://www.jeffwool.com

[AdamCU81]

It reminds me of Guster. You might want to slowly fade out the rain instead of an abrupt stop to it in the intro. The vocals fall flat in a couple places, and i would trade the tambourine in for bongos and a hand cymbol or a drumset if at all possible. Besides that, I think it's pretty chill. I like the harmonizing and harmonica, and the song has a great upbeat feel.

edit: An afterthought: Maybe you could change the synthesizer voice to sound like steel drums or marimbas...or maybe use the harmonica there....something with more character than what it currently is.

[ElGuitarrista]

I like it... good voice, and the song definitely creates a mood. I got a "Good Will Hunting" feeling from the song in the first minute... maybe I'm drawing similarities between this and Elloit Smith... though as the song progressed beyond the first minute... I got more of an upbeat feel.

I agree that the intro seems to cut out abruptly at 0:27... and the intro inself is low and difficult to hear. I think it would be more powerful if it were louder. This song is definitely worth the time in putting together a solid recording... I can envision it on a movie soundtrack.