Original Song- First one!

Post recordings you have made here and get feedback from the community. Songwriting topics would also reside here.

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Doron Diamond
Posts: 77
Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2003 10:51 pm

Original Song- First one!

Unread post by Doron Diamond » Fri Feb 27, 2004 7:30 am

I wrote and recorded my first song the other day. Problem is, my mixing skills are awful. It might not be anything great at all, but I have to admit the sound quality sounds fantastic on the 8-track with headphones, only to lose a LOT of its umph! on the computer. Still, it's something, and it'll have to do. Any feedback is much appreciated, and all I can ask, is that you turn the volume up full way, cause that's the only chance it can even start to sound like it does in it's original form. Thanks a ton for any feedback whatsoever.

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http://www.angelfire.com/music5/doroncoversongs/

Job Hunt

Heaven never had no rainy weather
It's funny that you want me here to stay
People find it hard to come together
People have their reasons and their ways

People need the time to make their money
'Cause there's tons of bills we have to pay
Maybe there's no need to make it better
These are things you can't change anyway

I never had a place to go
To go
It's with regrets I'll never know
It takes a paranoia
Never had to plan it for ya

Maybe we can still make haste together
Come and cross the street with me today
We don't need the mountains and the deserts
Those are for the pigeons anyway

You know I have a fear of falling
I lost my place in line again today
Hear another Sunday morning calling
Another one slowly slips away

You know I'm bound to be a star
'Cause we don't know who we are

Jc
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Posts: 217
Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2004 3:27 am

Unread post by Jc » Fri Feb 27, 2004 9:20 am

Lot's of hard work I'm sure, very nice :) Just a suggestion, I heard a harmonica at the end, that should be used as a riff through out the song after the chorus or something. Sounded great when I heard it.

ludes454
Posts: 29
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2003 6:41 pm

Unread post by ludes454 » Sun Feb 29, 2004 9:31 pm

I like this song a lot, cool lyrics, catchy rhythm that kind of makes me smile, excellent harmonies and ya the harmonica should get some more time in the spotlight. I know i'm not being that critical but i wish i could write better songs so its hard for me to find the negatives in others songs

Good job man
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jwool
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Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2003 4:23 pm
Location: Washington DC
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Unread post by jwool » Mon Mar 15, 2004 11:00 pm

Great song! Awesome production, and the recording sounded quite good to me. Nice job.

Jeff
http://www.jeffwool.com

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AdamCU81
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Posts: 256
Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2003 6:23 am

Unread post by AdamCU81 » Tue Mar 16, 2004 5:09 am

It reminds me of Guster. You might want to slowly fade out the rain instead of an abrupt stop to it in the intro. The vocals fall flat in a couple places, and i would trade the tambourine in for bongos and a hand cymbol or a drumset if at all possible. Besides that, I think it's pretty chill. I like the harmonizing and harmonica, and the song has a great upbeat feel.

edit: An afterthought: Maybe you could change the synthesizer voice to sound like steel drums or marimbas...or maybe use the harmonica there....something with more character than what it currently is.

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ElGuitarrista
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Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Unread post by ElGuitarrista » Tue Mar 16, 2004 7:07 pm

I like it... good voice, and the song definitely creates a mood. I got a "Good Will Hunting" feeling from the song in the first minute... maybe I'm drawing similarities between this and Elloit Smith... though as the song progressed beyond the first minute... I got more of an upbeat feel.

I agree that the intro seems to cut out abruptly at 0:27... and the intro inself is low and difficult to hear. I think it would be more powerful if it were louder. This song is definitely worth the time in putting together a solid recording... I can envision it on a movie soundtrack.

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