I think I'm on to something here

Post recordings you have made here and get feedback from the community. Songwriting topics would also reside here.

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Banjobach
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I think I'm on to something here

Unread post by Banjobach » Wed Nov 14, 2007 7:16 pm

Lately I've just been writing bummed out songs
I think after this one, I've said all I wanted to say about a certain
trouble in my life. Hopefully I'll start writing more upbeat stuff.
This one just seemed catchy to me so I wrote it out and have a rough recording for it.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default ... tent=music

And the lyrics

Wake up, lead
fills my head
I'm so heavy
in my bed
Morning sunshine
I've been sleeping
for some time

Do you wonder how I've been
Do you wonder how I've been

Put my feet
on the floor
The chills set in
And I ignore
Cream and coffee
One more cup and I'm at ease

Do you wonder how I've been
Do you wonder how I've been

Think of all the
words I've said
Some were true
and some are dead
"Don't be sorry"
I can hear you say to me

Do you wonder how I've been
Do you wonder how I've been

dmbfan028028
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Unread post by dmbfan028028 » Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:55 pm

Sounds good man, the vocals go nice with the slow guitar, maybe a few more lyrics in there to give it more of a full song feel, but keep at it cuz you are on to something.
Thanks for the share

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RunsWithBuffalo
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Random movie quote to make you seem hip and "with it": As long as there's, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll.

Unread post by RunsWithBuffalo » Thu Nov 15, 2007 7:55 pm

I like it. A very pretty melody. The recording is a bit rough and I can't hear all the guitar, but it sounds pretty intricate.

I think this would sound very nice with some sort of string arrangement and thats all.

I like the lyrics and the phrasing too. You may want to find a way to differentiate the verse and chorus a bit cause they run together too much.

Very nice little tune though.
Do I listen to pop music because I'm miserable or am I miserable because I listen to pop music?

-High Fidelity

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jmack
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Unread post by jmack » Fri Nov 16, 2007 12:32 pm

RunsWithBuffalo wrote:Very nice little tune

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